Flock Madness
by Claire Ride
Summary: The title used to be Elevator Madness. In this story the flock gets into some...interesting situations. Tons of pranks and random comedy! Read people!
1. Flying Above

Summery: What happens when the flock checks into a hotel? What would they do in the elevator's? Read to find out! First FanFic FAX!

**Me: omg first fanfic! This is gonna be fuuunnnn! Ok Max take it away!**

**Max: Take it away with what?**

**Me: oh you know…..the disclaimer that says I have no talent as a writer…and so on**

**Max: oh haha! Now I remember! This person has no talent…and doesn't own Maximum Ride..because JP does!!**

**Me: thanks…I feel special…..well on with the story!! *you may begin clapping***

Chapter Uno! Flying Above~

Max POV

Man, I just love flying. How your above everyone else. So far me and the flock are safe and happy…..well so far. Fang was flying next to me….all dark and handsome…..yes I did say handsome because we're kinda going out now! (so all the girls out there that love Fang…now you know he's with me!!) Iggy and Gazzy were talking quietly to each other…..which probably should get me worried. Nudge was talking nonstop to Angel…who had a sad and bored expression on her face, and Total was in her backpack.

I flew over to Angel.

"What's wrong Ange?" I asked her.

"I don't know what's wrong with her" said Nudge "I've been asking and asking but she wont tell me and then I started talking about cut outfits and different places….Oh Max where are we going..are we there yet and-"

"NUDGE!" I interrupted. Nudge shut her mouth with an embarrassed look on her face. "Ok Angel what's up?"

"It's nothing…..but are we sleeping in another random forest again?" Angel asked.

"Well I guess….why you ask?"

"It's just…. I would really like to sleep in a warm bed and food in the kitchen."

"Yeah…cant we just go to a hotel?" Total mumbled from Angel's backpack.

"I don't kn-"

"Did I hear someone say hotel?!" Iggy interrupted.

"Please please please Max!" Nudge begged "Just for a couple of nights?!" Nudge and Angel gave me bambi eyes……oh crap

"Ask Fang!!" I said.

"Fang can we pleaseeee can we stay at a hotel?!?!?" Gazzy begged.

"_Be strong Fang! don't give into their pleading!!" _I thought.

"_Fang isn't to strong against the bambi eyes Max"_ Angel said in my head.

Fang just shrugged…...GOD! that's all he does!

"Thanks for helping Fang!" I whispered in his ear. Fang grinned at me.

"Wait is that a yes to the hotel?" Iggy said.

"I guess…..me and Fang will go ahead to look for a hotel…while we're gone Iggy is in charge!" I said in my best leader voice.

Ok I have nothing against hotel's…but every time we're there something always happens…and not good stuff. Fang and I flew faster leaving the others behind. Please don't let me regret going to a hotel!

Angel's POV

OMG I cant believe they actually fell for that story. Max doesn't know the real motive behind going to a hotel.

"Angel I cant believe we're staying at a hotel!!" Nudge said "Now we get to do all that stuff u found on the internet about doing weird stuff in elevator's and-"

"Shhhhhhh!" I interrupted.

"What about weird stuff…..Angel, Nudge?" Iggy said.

_Should we tell them Nudge? _I said in her mind.

_I guess….they might be able to make this funnier! _

"Ok here's the deal" I said in my stern voice " I looked on the internet and found a website that tells you stuff to do in a elevator when your bored….and I thought this could be fun."

"Let's do it!" Gazzy said "We might as well….what's the point in staying in a hotel if you have nothing fun to do?!"

"Gazzer my man, you have a very good point. Count me in!" Iggy said.

"Nudge you in"

"Duh I'm in! of course I'm in!"

"Alright operation "this could go badly" is a go! BUT….we cant tell Max or Fang"

"Why?" asked Nudge.

"Because… they wouldn't let us do this" I sighed " I thought it was obvious. OK lets start planning!"

This was going to be fun….everyone had an evil grin on their face. I kinda feel sorry for whatever hotel Max and Fang picked out. Now all we need is a plan….

***GASP* what on earth will happen!! Will the flock drive Max and Fang to the brink of insanity?! READ AND REVIEW PEOPLE!!! You know you want tooooo!**


	2. Checking INN!

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HELLO FELLOW READERS!!

Thanks sooo much for the awesome reviews! Now that I know I'm not a complete failure I can write more! LOVE YOU GUYS!!

So you can understand my story a little bit more I set up a interview with, the mastermind behind this operation, Angel!

**__**

Me: Hello Angel! Now I know all the viewers out there are wondering what the heck your planning!

Angel:Hi person…..it's actually simple to understand. I went on Fang's laptop and found a website that had fun/weird things to do in elevator…and I thought this was the perfect chance to have some F-U-N!

Me:Well now that we know that you can spell the word fun and about what your planning…kinda…we can move on with the Story! Iggy please give us the disclaimer!!

Hello people! Iggy here! Claire (the writer of this story) does not own Maximum Ride! She could never come up with something this clever!

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Alright now that I've been insulted we can start on the 2nd chappie!!

Chapter Dos! Checking INN! Get it? Inn and in….ha-ha!

Max POV

Alright…me and Fang found a descent hotel called the Sheraton hotel. I don't know how people actually come up with these names…but they sound stupid. So now we are flying back to find the rest of the flock, and then check in.

"Fang, where did we leave them at?" I asked…because I have no clue where we left them in the sky.

"8 miles east of this spot…" He said that like it was obvious.

"Well sorry I don't know the exact place in the sky!"

"…….."

Now we are flying 8miles east….exactly like Fang said. He better be right or someone's gonna get it!

I can now spot them in the distance….tiny figures getting bigger and bigger….darn Fang was right. Finally I can be the bearer of good news! We finally caught up with them…..

"OK guys. I found a good hotel….and we'll only stay there for a few days! We don't want anyone catching up with us." I said….everyone -except Fang- started cheering. "BUT you may not get into ANY trouble…you will follow all the rules….and if you don't then I'll….you don't wanna know what I'll do!"

"OK OK OK! Jeez Max….calm yourself! We wont get into any trouble" Iggy said with a smile on his face and his fingers crossed behind his back.

"I AM CALM! Perfectly calm! OK let's get going if you want to get there before the sun starts setting!" I said staring at each of them.

We arrived at the hotel….let's just say that this is a really fancy hotel and we stuck out of the crowd. I walked up to the desk that said CHECK IN….well that's obvious. They guy at the desk looked like a serious creeper. Fang put is arm around me and we approached the desk.

"Hello how may I help YOU?" the creeper dude said.

"ummm do you have a room with around 6 beds?" I asked.

"Well we have one of those Condos…which has 3 rooms…2 rooms have 2 beds in them…and the 3rd room has a king sized bed….is that alright?"

"That's just perfect. Here's my credit car" I handed him the Max card and smiled….which is really surprising because I never smile at strangers.

"Thank you…and if there's anything else you want just ask me." He said staring at me.

"We wont need anything else…thank you." Fang said….he looked like he was about to rip that guys throat out.

We went up to the 6th floor (where our room was) and went inside the room. Our room was AMAZING! The kitchen was huge!

"OMG!!! THIS ROOM IS AWESOME!" Nudge said, looking around "I mean seriously this hotel is amazing! Look at the rooms, look at the kitchen!! OMG OMG OMG!"

"OMG OMG OMG OMG! OMG I LIKE SAYING OMG!" Gazzy said imitating Nudge's voice.

"OK here's the deal…Nudge and Angel get the 1st room, Gazzy and Iggy get the 2nd room, and Fang and I get the king sized bed room." I said.

"Ohhhhh I guess you guys want the king sized bed for some big sized fun!" Iggy said while smiling. And with that I punched him in the arm.

"OWW! Max that's not a very nice way to treat your youngsters!" Iggy said while laughing uncontrollably.

"Max? What does Iggy mean? His mind is really gross!" Angel said with a disgusted look on her face.

"IGGY!! Control your mind and your mouth!!!!" I screamed at him. "Alright get unpacked and meet back here!"

Me and Fang went to our room…and unpacked the little stuff we had. I just realized we really don't have anything…hmm we need to go shopping soon….wow I cant believe I just said shopping..*shudders* The rest of the flock was in the kitchen already when I came out.

"Max? Do you think you and Fang could go check out the pool…and other places around here?" Angel asked me sweetly.

"Ummm sureeee…." I said "Fang you coming?"

"Sure…what harm could it do…."

"Alright we'll be right back…DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!" I yelled

Fang and I left to go look around the hotel….

Angel's POV

HAHAHAHAHA! Do you think it's a very good idea to leave your laptop…alone…with a bunch of bird-kids….looking for trouble? NOPE not a very good idea. I went into Max's and Fang's room and got out Fang's laptop and brought it back out to Iggy, Nudge and Gazzy.

"Ok guys I got the laptop…but Nudge I need you to get passed the password." I said

"This should be really easy…since I can control computers…OMG its fun using this power…don't you thin-"

"Ok Nudge… just break the password!" Gazzy demanded.

"Fine fine….just one sec…" Nudge pressed her hand on the computer….and smiled. "Well he certainly has a weird password….its 'make out'"

When Nudge said what his password was….we all were on the ground laughing…I mean seriously…I was expecting it to be Max or something around that…but make out! That was really random.

"Ok….here's the website….we shall assign everyone a certain prank…..we clear?" I said…staring at the computer screen.

"YES commander!!" Iggy said.

"We could probably annoy everyone out of the elevator in a matter of minutes…!" Gazzy said.

"That's the point Gazzy!" Nudge pointed out.

"We'll start when Max and Fang are "busy" in their room." Iggy said while smirking.

"ok eeeeeeeew!!" Nudge said.

"Ok let's put the laptop away, destroy the evidence of us ever being on there, and we'll start when their busy!" I said

Let's hope Max and Fang are "busy" a lot. We don't want them ruining our brilliant plan! Now we must wait for them to get "busy"!

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Whoa…..what will happen next?!?! The next chappie will have the elevator fun in it! You must start a story slow and then build it up to the exploding point! REVIEW PEOPLE! I need at least 5 more reviews to write the next chapter!


	3. Elevator Attendant?

**Sorry I haven't written in a while! Field Hockey really takes up a lot of time and energy!**

**OK I NEED THE DISCLAIMER!**

**Angel: Disclaimer TIME! Claire doesn't own ANYTHING!!**

**Total: This is TRUE!**

**Me: Ok thanks! You guys really know how to help someone's self esteem……ON WITH THE CHAPTER!!**

Chapter Tres! Elevator Attendant?

Angel POV

Because I cam up with the idea to do all this elevator stuff everyone agreed I would be going first. It was around 10 P.M. and Max and Fang were still looking around the hotel. Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and I pressed the "down" button on the elevator.

"Ok so are we clear on the plan?" I asked.

"YUPP!" Iggy said. "First Angel will do something stupid the Gazzy then Nudge and then I finis it off!"

"That sounds about right." I said.

"And we'll do this again tomorrow?" Nudge asked.

"Of course we will! Unless we get caught…which I doubt we will." I said. "This is gonna be fun!"

"So, can I pass gas while I'm in there?" Gazzy asked with a smile on his face.

"We're trying to freak them out! Not kill them!!" Nudge said. "If you pass gas in there we will all die a horrib-"

"Shhhhh! Here comes the elevator!" I interrupted.

The elevator doors open. These are some seriously huge elevators! There are 8 people inside at the moment. Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, and I walk in. We all exchange looks…and I nod.

"Hello everyone!" I said happily. "I will be your elevator attendant today!" Everyone stared at me like I was some kind of an idiot…which I was!

"Here are some rules!" I said in a stern voice. "You may NOT use the bathroom! If you need to pee or vomit you must open the doors and do your "business" in the elevator shaft! And if you want to escape there are two possible ways to do so….First you can open the elevator doors and fall to your death OR you could destroy one of the walls and try to get out that way. Are there any questions?!" Everyone just stared at me….some people were trying not to laugh and some people thought I was serious! HAHA!

"Meow!" Nudge said. This is what Nudge would be doing the whole time.

"What the HELL!?" Some random dude said from the back.

"I DO NOT LIKE PROFANITY MISTER!!" I screamed at him. He just stared wide eyed at me. "Ok we are arriving at the 5th floor, and I see no one needs to get off here so you guys STAY IN THE ELEVATOR!" We arrived at the 5th floor and a women came in.

"Hello ma'am! I am your elevator attendant …and I do not feel like going over the rules again." I said.

"_Oh thank god she isn't saying it again!" _That random dude thought

"I HEARD THAT! Don't make me talk again!" I screamed….the look on his face was priceless!

"Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!" Gazzy said. HAHA! This was Gazzy's prank.

So far this was hilarious! Everyone on the elevator looked like they would blow the walls off the elevator! Hahahaha! Iggy's prank was coming up soon. We were arriving to the 2nd floor.

"Meow!!!!" Nudge said.

"OK we are arriving at the second floor!" I said.

"AHHH MOTION SICKNESS!!" Gazzy screamed.

"Ok little boy I will open the elevator!" I said….I pressed the emergency stop button …Gazzy wasn't really going to puke in the elevator shaft but we were going to pretend.

"OK sir puke out into the elevator shaft!" I said to Gazzy.

Gazzy ran in front of everyone and got down on all fours and pretended to puke. It was actually very believable….he made the puking sounds and everything! Everyone had a disgusted look on there face. Gazzy got off the floor and made it to the back of the elevator…everyone was parting a pathway for him.

"Does anyone have a mint?!" Gazzy asked.

"Eeeeew!" A little random girl said.

"Do you wanna smell my breath?!" Gazzy asked….it was like he was excited!

"NO WAY!" The random girl said.

"Get away from my daughter you freak!!!" I'm guessing that was the mother of the random little girl.

"Meow!" Nudge said.

The elevator arrived at the lobby and the doors were still closed.

"OK we are at the lobby! Thank you for riding!" I said happily.

Iggy walked up to the closed doors and started grunting and straining to get the doors open. The doors opened (by themselves) and Iggy had an embarrassed look on his face…but that wasn't the worst part….when the doors opened there in plain sight were Max and Fang….CRAP! Everyone in the elevator ran through the opened doors like it was there life line. Max had a confused expression on her face. Does she know something?!

Max POV

Ok what are the kids doing on the elevator when I told them to stay in the room?!

"What are you guys doing here?!?" I asked with a angry tone.

"We were just trying to find you…" Iggy said. Smooth…whatever they were doing they are trying to cover up.

"Exactly!" Nudge said. "You guys were taking a long time so we were wondering where you were and Iggy started saying nasty stuff about what you guys were doing so we came to fin-"

"OK Nudge she understands!" Gazzy said.

"Alright well why did everyone run out of the elevator…?!" I asked.

"Ummm because Gazzy passed gas!" Angel said a little to quickly.

"Alright then….I'll believe you…for now!" I said. "Now let's get back to the room."

We rode up to the 6th floor then entered the room. Me and Fang went to our room. I was starting to get confused….I wonder what they were doing in that elevator!!

"Hey Max." Fang said. "It looks like someone touched my computer."

"Oh really? I wonder who…"

"Do you think the kids are up to something?" Fang asked.

"Their always up to something….but this something could get us kicked out."

"So now we have to keep a close eye on them?"

"Looks like we'll have to!"

Now its go time! Whatever their up to better not get us kicked out! Me and Fang will have to keep a close eye on them now….

**YAY! Third Chapter!! Click the button people…or else aliens will come and destroy the world! R&R**


	4. Stupid Colors!

**YAY IM WRITING!! Woohoo! La la la la! OK THE DISCLAIMER! Iggy take it away!**

**Iggy- Take away the disclaimer…I thought I was supposed to bring it here…?**

**Me-*slaps forehead* wow….I see why you failed school! JUST GIVE THE DANG DISCLAIMER!**

**Iggy-Whoa there! Ok ok Claire OWNS NOTHING! But she does own a toaster that I enjoy using!**

**Me-Wait! You use my toaster?!?!?!? IS THAT WHERE ALL MY TOASTE IS GOING??!?!?!**

**Iggy- Umm OH LOOK A MONKEY! *points in opposite direction and runs***

**Me-*looks in that direction* huh? Darn…I just remembered he cant even freaking see! Oh well! HERE IS THE CHAPTER**!

**Chapter 4/cuatro! Stupid Colors!!**

**MaxPOV**

We are all sitting in the living room…and everyone was acting…normal? Well that's just weird…they have to be up to something! Iggy and Gazzy are sitting on the ground searching on Fang's computer, Angel, Nudge and Total are sitting on the coach playing tic-tac-toe and Fang was sitting at the kitchen table…yup he's just sitting there. Angel went over to Iggy and said something in his ear…hmm…what's that about?

"Oh, it's just that we're kinda bored so we are gonna search for fun stuff to do!" Angel said after reading my mind.

"OKKKKK…" I said.

I wonder what's that about….? Me and Fang went in our room to have a make out session. **CENSORED!**

**Iggy POV (first POV with Iggy!)**

Ok, Angel told me to search for stuff to do when your bored in your house. Since Max and Fang were clearly not going anywhere we would just have to make do here!

"Does it say anything good?" Gazzy asked with a smile on his face.

"Some stuff is good…must of the stuff is stupid though." I said

"Well isn't that the point in doing this stuff?!" Nudge asked I heard her get up to sit by us.

"Hmm…Iggy I like this one!" Angel said.

"Well can you tell me?! I have a issue where I can't SEE!!" I said angrily.

"It says….Blink wildly and then close your eyes really tight for an interesting light show…sounds interesting! LET'S TRY IT!!" said Gazzy!

"Hmm well that might not work for me since I'm…you know…blind." I said.

"Aww I'm sorry Iggy…but do you still think we can try it? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL-"

"OKOKOK!" Iggy interrupted Nudge's run on sentence.

"YAY!" everyone else randomly cheered.

**Nudge's POV!**

We all-except Iggy-blinking rapidly…it actually was quite amusing..!

"Are we gone blinking yet?!" Angel asked….it looked like she was getting dizzy! Haha!

"OK stop blinking NOW!" I said. We all stopped blinking with a dazed expression on our faces.

"COOL! Look there's yellow…LOOK blue! OMG!" Angel said.

"Hehe! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! Ok im bored again…it was only cool when I saw the color pink and purple" I said"…and now its all blue and green! EW now its brown! TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF! AHHH-"

"Nudge!" Gazzy interrupted "Just stuff your face into that pillow! And shut up or Max and Fang will come here and start making out in front of us!"

I stuffed my face in the nearest pillow…hoping the colors would just GO AWAY!

"Ok Nudge…the colors are probably gone now…you can look up!" Iggy said.

"Ugh! I hate those colors!" I screamed! **(sorry to those people who like those colors...I like those colors too!)**

"What's going on in there?!?!" Max yelled.

"Oh shit…." Angel said. I didn't even know she knew that word!

"ANGEL RIDE! I HEARD THAT!!!" Max screamed….oh know.

"I didn't even know she knew that word." Fang muttered.

"Well I heard it from your minds!!" Angel said.

"Whoa…." Gazzy said.

"Yea I know…" Iggy said.

Max came out…and she looked pissed! Uh oh…At least she was in one of her better moods…she's always in a good mood after making out with Fang! Ha-ha!

"Ok! TIME FOR OUR HAPPY MOMENT! YAYAYAYAYA!" I said…trying to lighten the mood.

"Fine. Iggy can you make some lunch?" Max asked.

"SURE! And guess what! I'll use this special toaster that I "borrowed" from my good friend Claire!" Iggy said with a goofy smile on his face.

"Well that was just weird!" Angel said.

**End of Chapter 4! Yay! IGGY YOU STOLE MY TOASTER…..AGAIN! I WILL GET YOU MISTER! And yes Angel….very weird! And Nudge don't be afraid of color…embrace it! Max, Fang…you really should watch out for you flock more! And Gazzy…I like the whole stuff-your-face-in-a-pillow thing! **

**Fellow Readers! I know this had no elevator stuff in it! I was bored so just randomly wrote this! Hope you like it!**

**R&R….don't do it for me…do it for the sporks!**


	5. Playing Dead?

**Ok I'm writing again!!! Field hockey is AMAZING!! We won our championship! YAY!**

**Me: Woohoo! Writing another chappie!!**

**Iggy: wow your talented….~sarcasm~**

**Me: Was that sarcasm?!?!?!?**

**Iggy: Cant you see the little squiggly then sarcasm and then the little squiggly?!**

**Me: Well SORRY! I usually don't read talking…..**

**Iggy: But we're not talking….we're writing….**

**Me: Just give me the dang disclaimer!**

**Iggy: FINE FINE! Claire doesn't own….wait what don't you own?**

**Me: I don't own…maximum ride…the book…but I DO own this story!**

**Iggy: yea yea…..loser!**

**Me: Insulted again?!?!?!….I'm still mad at you for stealing my toaster!**

**Iggy: I don't know what your talking about! *tries to hide toaster in shirt***

**Me: *face-palm* on with the chapter!**

**Chapter cinco Playing Dead?**

**Angel POV**

So here we sit…still uberly bored in the hotel room. Max made me sit in the corner and stare at the wall because I said a "bad" word! Everyone says bad words…including Max and Fang! Iggy was sitting on the couch…looking bored, Nudge was…playing with a pillow(Don't ask why she's doing that), and Gazzy was typing on the computer with his feet(again don't ask). Max and Fang were in the kitchen…staring at us.

"Gazzy, why do you need to type with your feet on MY computer!?" Fang demanded.

"Well what else is there to do?!" Gazzy said back.

Hmm…I was thinking of a great way to get back Max and Fang. Now all I need to do is find a way to get Max and Fang out of the room for a couple of minutes.

"pssst…Iggy!" I whispered.

"Yea?" Iggy replied.

"Can you try to get Max and Fang out of the room for a couple minutes…I have a great prank!"

"I'll see what I can do…I'll pass the word to Gazzy and Nudge."

I saw Iggy whisper what we needed to do to Gazzy and Nudge. They both looked at me and nodded.

"Angel?" Iggy said. "What's the prank anyways?"

"I'll tell you once their gone." I answered.

"Hey, Max and Fang." Iggy said. I saw he was thinking hard on what to say. "Umm…uhh…why isn't anyone attacking us?"

"I don't know" Max replied. "Maybe they lost our trail"

"But what if their down stares waiting for us?!" Nudge asked. "What if their just waiting to kill us with their cold hands?!?!?"

"Nudge I doubt that will happen." Max said. Fang nodded in agreement.

"Bu-but I don't wanna be killed! Can you check downstairs real quick?!" Nudge pleaded with bambi eyes.

"Ok if I makes you feel better!" Max said. "Come on Fang."

I smiled to myself. This actually was working out great! Max and Fang left the room looking aggravated. I stood up and motioned everyone to the middle of the room.

"Guys…I came up with this mean/hilarious prank that might get us killed by Max and Fang. " I said. "You guys in?"

"It depends on what it is." Nudge said. "Because I don't wanna do anything gross…I don't wanna mess up my hair and cloths and-"

"Ok we get it!" Gazzy interrupted. "As long as we have fun and it gets them mad then I'm in!"

"Excellent! Ok here it is. We need to make the room messy and stuff and have us play dead" I said.

"So we're pretending that someone attacked us and we're all dead?" Iggy asked.

"Yupp! They might hurt us later…but this is what happens when boredom sets in!" I said.

"Ok I'm in!" Everyone said.

"Iggy do you still have that fake blood kit thing?" I asked.

"Yea…here it is." Iggy said while handing me the bloody kit.

"Why do you even have that?!" Nudge asked.

"I don't really know…." Iggy said.

"Ok let's mess up the room…and keep the door open!" I said.

We all got up and started throwing things around the room. I pushed the door open and made it look like someone broke in. Nudge was throwing pillows around the room, Gazzy was making the kitchen look like a mess, and Iggy was spreading the fake blood everywhere.

"Guys, put some of the fake blood on you and start ripping your cloths a bit." Iggy said.

I started shredding parts of my cloths and put some fake blood all over me. Nudge and Gazzy were doing the same thing. I'm surprised…Nudge was even messing up her hair!

"Go to the place where Max and Fang saw us last and put some blood there. Then make it look like your dead." I said.

I went to the corner and started putting blood all over the wall. Nudge, Iggy, and Gazzy were doing the same thing to the place they were at last. Then I laid down in the corner closed my eyes and tried to make it look like I was dead.

"Whoa…Angel you really do look dead!" Gazzy said.

"Good!" I looked at everyone…who looked like a giant bear attacked them. "You guys look dead too."

"Shhh! I hear them coming! Everyone into your potions!!" Iggy said.

We all lie down in our spots and tried our best to look dead

"_You know we're all literally dead after Max finds our…" I said using my MIND POWER! _

"_Yupp that sounds about right…..try to protect the stomach area when she punches us.." Gazzy said_

I heard a gasp in the hallway and two pairs of running feet. I knew they were inside the room….haha this is like one of those horror movies!

"What the hell?!?!?!?!" I heard Fang say. I heard Max stifle a sob.

"Angel, Nudge, Gazzy, Iggy?!" Max said. "Are they dead!?!?"

"Oh I don't know….LOOK AT THEM!!" Fang screamed.

Max was coming over my way…with tears running down her face. She was looking at all of our dead forms…you would think they would be able to see us breathe.

"_Ok guys I think we went to far…well lets at least scare them" I said…again using my MIND POWER!_

"_sure sure" Gazzy, Nudge, and Iggy said._

"Boo!" Iggy said. Max and Fang literally jumped 10 feet in the air. We all were getting up and going towards Max and Fang with our best cute faces.

"WHAT WERE YOU GUYS THINKING!!! YOU SCARED US TO DEATH!!!" Max said…looking like she was about to explode.

"Well this is what happens when we get bored!" Gazzy said…protecting his stomach from Maxes furious punches.

"You guys are so in trouble" Fang said.

"FIRST CLEAN UP THIS ROOM!!! THEN GO TO YOUR ROOMS AND STAY THERE UNTIL I SAY SO!!" Max said…..well crap.

"Yes Max…." I said. The outside of Max looked furious but the inside was still crying.

"We're sorry Max…we were just playing a joke…we didn't think you would care!" Nudge explained.

"Well at least we know what to dress like for Halloween!" Iggy said. Max gave him the death glare…which was useless on him.

"Well this sucks….we have to go to our rooms!" Nudge said.

"At least we had fun!" Iggy said.

I saw Max staring at the floor looking upset. Darn…now I have to go talk to her.

"Max?" I said quietly.

"What Angel?" Max sniffled.

"We're sorry Max…it was just a prank."

"It's fine…just don't do it again. You guys really scared me."

"Well now you know better then to keep us bored… and to give Iggy a blood kit!" I said happily.

"Ok I see your point…now clean up and go to your room!"

I skipped over to my room…happy that everything was better and hopefully no one was going to kill us! And trust me….we are still going to do many many pranks!

**Angel was a little harsh in this chapter…! Have a AMAZING DAY!!**


	6. Mcbathroom

**I'm sorry I haven't written in a looong time! My computer was jacked by the Geek Squad! For a month my poor computer was undergoing torture by men in white shirts….truly heartbreaking. Then, I rescued my computer by marching into Best Buy and demanding the return of my computer! But I am now scared for life, because those Geek Squad people seem to be proud wearing those weird pins. They were all but saying "I'm proud to work for Geek Squad!". I really wanted a sharpie…so I could color on their freakin white shirts!**

**Ok Time for the DISCLAIMER!….yes Iggy this means you.**

**Iggy: YES! uhhh…I mean I hate giving these disclaimers!**

**Me: Just do your job! I don't pay you to do nothing!**

**Iggy: You don't pay me…**

**Me: Yea I do! In bagels… **

**Iggy: Oh Yea…fine! Claire doesn't own Maximum Ride, or meee!**

**Me: You wish I owned you! Now let us go forth and read this Chapter!**

_Chapter 6, McBathroom_

_Iggy POV_

Everyone's heard of McDonald's, and everyone has eaten at McDonald's…and if you haven't then there's something wrong with you. Instead of having a healthy lifestyle, we're here…eating our weight in whatever this food was made out of…I'm serious I have no idea what this stuff is made out of! All I hear around me is the sound of the flocks disgusting chewing noises…and yes I'm one of the people making the disgusting noises. What can I say it's a gift!

"OMG I just loooooove McDonalds, even though this stuff will probably end all of humanity…oh well its sooooo good and humph-" I stuffed french fries in Nudges mouth.

"Nudge just eat the damn unhealthy food!" I said.

"Iggy! DON'T SAY THAT!" Max yelled at me, and she stared chucking french-fries at me…well isn't that nice.

"Well, SORRY! I'm trying to enjoy food here!"

"Same here!" Gazzy agreed.

"You guys are all stupid…."I heard Angel mutter.

"I'm not stupid, I'm just blind…and an awesome cook!" I said with confidence.

"Well I need to use the bathroom! Iggy come with me." Gazzy said.

"I am NOT going to the bathroom with you!"

"Ugh! NOT THAT! I mean come INTO the bathroom with me!"

"Alright that I will gladly do!"

"Don't you DARE blow anything up!" Max said with a mouth full of McCrap…or fries as you guys would say.

We walked our way into the bathroom. I can just sense that this was one of those crappy bathrooms that people shudder just stepping inside. And don't even get me started on the smell!

"Aww man…your lucky you can't see Iggy!" Gazzy said while gasping at the sight.

"And for once I am happy about it…but I'm not happy about my extra sense of smell. And don't you even think about adding onto this dreadful smell Gazzer!"

"Fine Fine! ha-ha!"

I heard Gazzy walk into one of the stalls, and he ran out screaming like a little girl. Now this is a moment I will never forget. Sure Gazzy can beat up erasers without even flinching, but he can't stand the sight of a McCrappy bathroom.

"WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?" Gazzy screamed.

"Just answer one question…was it in the toilet or on the wall?" I asked with a puzzled expression.

"B-both!" Gazzy stuttered.

"Hmm, then we should either run for our life, or find another freakin stall!"

"Humph…fine ok I'm in another stall.."

"Thanks for the update!" Wow…I wonder what's in that stall…

I heard Gazzy find yet ANOTHER stall. I heard him flush then the door creaked open.

"I think I finally found something that smells worse than me!" Gazzy said, acting surprised.

"Uhhh….imp getting a headache." I said while rubbing my temples.

"Hey Iggy, what are those things on the wall?"

"Ummm, what are ya talking about?" There was stuff on the wall?!

"Ok there those white things on the wall that look like mini toilets."

Ohhh crap, I can't believe he didn't know what they were! Well Jeb never taught us anything…I had to find out about urinals. Ugh I really do not feel like telling him about this stuff.

"Well Gazzy, they are indeed mini toilets." I said, my voice filling with knowledge!

"Then why doesn't the girl bathroom?" Ohhh crap, wait…how does he know the girl bathroom doesn't have one?!

"Umm, Gazzy how do you know that?"

"Because I once blew up a toilet in there!" I should have known….

"Men have these mini toilets because they are so manly that they don't have to have stalls around their mini toilets.." I said…trying to come up with a story.

"Hmm, that doesn't sound right…" damn…

"Alright…hmm…well men have…uhh… hoses! Yea hoses that can be inserted into the mini toilet or urinal if you prefer. And women have…urghh…ummm…buckets….that need bigger toilets!"

"Is that how babies are made?!" I am NOT getting into that!

"NO! uhhh you will have to ask Max about that issue, ask her when Fang and her will hook up…kay?" I'm trying to annoy Max and Fang.

"Ok Iggy!"

We walked out of the bathroom, and took a deep breath of FRESH air! I never knew I would love the smell of McDonald's so much. We were heading towards the table were I could hear everyone starting to throw away their food. I took my tray and walked toward the trash can which was by the door.

"Max?" Gazzy said.

"Yea Gazzy?" Thank Gawd for my amazing hearing!

"When are you and Fang gonna hook up and produce a baby?" Gazzy asked. Oh my god…I said nothing about him asking when they were having a kid!

"WHAT!?" I heard Max screech. I'm dead.

"Iggy told me about the mini toilets in the boy's room and about the hoses and buckets, and about asking you guys when your hooking up." Gazzy said sounding scared.

I ran out of McDonald's while hearing the sound of Max screaming my name. I unfurled my wings and took off. Now all I have to do is stay out of sight while Max cools down.

**Gasp what will Max do to this poor blind child?! I thank you for reading! next chapter coming out soon! R&R**


	7. Things always go wrong!

**Fanfic QUESTION: Someone asked "does the blinking thing actually work?" (from one of my chapters) It actually DOES work! it says that if you blink your eyes rapidly -and I do mean rapidly- then shut your eyes really tight then you can see random blobs of color, its like a lava lamp in your eyes! You may try it at your own risk! *extreme dizziness, especially if you blink while spinning around in circles* **

**Now Claire needs her AMAZING disclaimer… wait where's Iggy? WHERES MY DISCLAIMER BUDDY?!**

**Random operator: I'm sorry, but Iggy can not take your call right now. He is currently flying for his life.**

**Me: Whaaaa? I feel so LONELY! crud now I have to use Total, the dog that magically disappears in all of my chapters!**

**Total: Excuse me! DOG?!?! **

**Me: Fine! Canine-American….but it still sounds stupid…**

**Total: Claire Doesn't own ANYTHING! Because she keeps calling me a flippin DOG! **

**Me: *is sitting, listening to ipod* Wait what? *takes out ear phones* Did you say something?**

**Total: JESUS, MARY AND JOSEPH! ugh….I'm OUTIE! **

**Me: Yeaaa….I'm just as confused as you guys are. CHAPTER TIME!! **

_Chapter 7, Things usually go VERY wrong._

_Iggy POV_

I am currently flying for my life. As you all know I kinda, sorta got into a little bit of trouble with the mega leader/Hitler/Max. I highly doubt I stand a chance against Max's super speed, but Max doesn't have super hide and seek powers! So now I am deciding weather or not to hide in the forest or that random town that I just happen to sense. Okay I'm choosing the town, because Max will think I'm gonna hide in the forest, and besides if she does find me I can just use another person as my shield!

I touch down on the roof of some house. I slowly inched my way off the roof when BOOM! I feel someone knock into me. And trust me this is some serious amount of freakin weight!

"FREAKIN IGGY! YOU KEEP GIVING NO FREAKIN CHOICE BUT TO HURT YOU!" I hear Max say, even though she's growling at me and I can barely breathe!

"GASP! can't---breathe! weight *gasp* TO MUCH!" I feel another punch to my stomach….ouch.

We fall of the roof. Yupp and to make my day worse Max was on top of me…so I absorbed the WHOLE impact! You would think this fall would stun Max just for a few seconds…but no. She keeps hitting me.

"UGH MAX!" I start doing that hand movements to that slap fight thing. So now me and Max are having a slap fight! What joy!

"IGGY THERE IS SOMETHING FREAKIN WRONG WITH YOU!!!" you all know who said that…

"HEY YOU KIDS!!!" ok this was a voice of which I don't know of….crap.

"Is there something wrong officer?" Max asked politly…while she was still ON TOP OF ME!

"Umm yea! Your beating the living daylights out of this kid!"

"Please help me!" I said. Well I might as well play along, I might be able to get Max into a little trouble with the Law.

"Iggy tell that dude that we were just playing around!" Max forcefully said into my ear.

"In a sick way or normal way?" I whisper to her, know I would probably pay for that later. She slapped my arm, forgetting the cop was there.

"Ma'am I demand you get off this boy at once!" The cop said, while grabbing Max and lifting her off my chest. YES I CAN BREATHE!

"Don't touch me!" Max said. She was probably trying to get out of the cops grasp.

"Young man was this girl bothering you?" The cop asked me.

"Iggy." Max said in a low voice. ha-ha!

"Yes she is bothering me! She started beating me up! And I'm blind!!" I said while trying to hold in laughter.

"IGGY!!" Max screamed. Boy was she pissed now.

"Your coming downtown young lady. You may be on your way young man." The cop said.

"Why thank you officer!" I said smugly.

I started walking away when I heard thumps coming from the other direction. I will bet my entire bomb collection that it's Max beating up the cop. I felt someone slap my head…and yes Iggy is FINALLY right!

"So did you beat him up good?" I asked trying to start a conversation.

"He should be waking up in a few hours…or days.." Max said while laughing. "Your lucky your not DEAD!" She screamed and spit in my face.

"You should really learn not to spit in people's faces…its not nice." I said calmly.

"I will get you back if it's the last thing I do Iggy!" She said…and I knew she meant it. "Now lets find the flock before they think your dead." She said while unfurling her wings and jumping in the air.

"Sounds good to me!" I said while jumping in the air.

So this whole fight scene went better then I thought it would! I didn't die…but I do have some nasty bruises and a busted lip. And I'm somewhat scared for my life. Ah well…I'll get Max before she gets me! So now I must add something else to my list of things to do. Number 1- build tons of bombs, number 2-try to find anything perverted in anyone's sentences, and number three-pull pranks on Max until she OFFIACIALLY snaps. This is gonna be a good week.

**Max will seriously kill him before this fanfic is done…Iggy I wouldn't test your luck this much! *tsk tsk* R&R**


	8. 15 Days till Christmas!

**Hello Everyone! I am FINALLY writing!! Sorry I haven't updated in a while. School is UBER busyyyy! Spanish final…and I PASSED!! **

**Guess what?! I said guess…ok, ok I'll tell you. IMPORTANT! I am making Christmas Episodes! So I'll be writing about the flock having an awesome/funny Christmas!!**

**Also it will be harder for me to write…I'm getting surgery this week on my hand…darn….WISH ME LUCK!**

**We wish you a Merry Christmas! and a Happy New Year! I need a disclaimer PLEASE! See I have manners.**

**Iggy: Claire does not own the flock, Wal-Mart, or Christmas.**

**Christmas Episode 1**

_15 Days Till Christmas!_

_Max POV_

"Max, Max, Max, MAX!!!!" Nudge screamed in my ear.

"WHAT?!"

"Only 15 days till CHRISTMAS!!!!!" Nudge said while doing a dance around the room. To be honest I had completely forgotten about Christmas. Don't blame me, blame the idiotic whitecoats and their weird machines.

"Christmas, eh?" Iggy said. "Ha-ha! I sounded Canadian for a second there."

"Max, since we're staying in a hotel over Christmas, I think we should get a Christmas tree!" Angel said happily.

"YES! A TREE!!!" Gazzy said while punching the air with is fist.

"That sounds like a good idea." Fang said quietly from the corner. Whoa, he said something…

I don't have anything against Christmas trees…unless there's a bomb planted inside it. I mean, I guess we can go to one of those "Chop down your own Christmas tree" at one of those Christmas tree farm places.

"Yea, I guess we can get our own tree." I said with a sigh of defeat.

"YAY!" Everyone cheered…ugh cheering.

"I wanna carry the Axe!!!" Angel said.

"NO! A SERIOUS NO TO THAT!" I said while pointing a finger in Angel's face.

"Well I could hold it…" Gazzy said.

"I would rather have Angel hold the axe!"

"Guys, let's just find a tree farm…or whatever they call it." Iggy said, pulling everyone away from our axe conversation.

"Let's MOVE OUT TROOPS!" Nudge yelled. She jumped out the window and unfurled her wings.

"Well what are you guys doing just standing here?!" Gazzy said. "Let's follow the chatter box!"

We were all finally outside flying over forest area, hoping to find some place were we can get a Christmas tree. Fang was carrying the axe. I refused to let anyone else carry it. We were probably gonna fly right towards the tree farm place because if we started walking and looking around…with an axe, people might think we're up to no good! That would be just horrible! So we were still flying, and then guess what. It started snowing! Were we prepared to fight Eraser's? Of course! But snow? Noooo way! Sure we had windbreakers on but they don't protect you from the fierce wind AND falling freakin ice cubes!

"Max, there are ice cubes falling from the sky!!!" Angel screamed through the wind.

"Guys! LAND! NOW!" I said to the flock, I pointed downward.

Everyone touched down. It was already somewhat icy on the ground, and Iggy, not knowing there was ice, fell flat on his face. Now there's some entertainment!!

"Shizzz!!" Iggy said, spitting ice out of his mouth.

"You ok Ig's?!" Gazzy said while helping Iggy up.

I would say those are the two idiotic idiots in the world. But it seems that we have momentarily forgotten our mission, To find and cut down a Christmas Tree (with that convenient axe).

"Hey guys, isn't that a tree farm right there?" Fang said quietly. Wow…how did we not notice that before!?

"That was…right in front of our faces!" Nudge said, making hand gestures toward the tree farm.

"Don't just stand and stare at it then! Let's go find a tree!" Angel said while running towards the entrance of the tree farm place.

We all walked into the farm place. There were trees as far as the eyes can see! How were we ever gonna be able to find the perfect tree? Well, I had no answer to that said question.

"Should we split up and look for a tree?" Gazzy asked, his eyes were wide staring at all the trees.

"Nahhh, we're a family so we're going to look for a tree together!" I said.

"OHMYGOSH! Look at all these trees!! How are we ever going to find the right one?!" Nudge said…not even taking a breathe.

"Ummm…let's start over there." Iggy said, pointing in some random direction.

We looked at tree after tree after tree after tree…you guys can stop me at any time. We couldn't find a single tree that everyone liked! They were either too short or too tall, too small or too big! Seriously they should just pick a dang tree!

"Hey guys!!" I heard Angel yell from a distance. "I like this tree!" We followed the sound of Angel's voice. And we saw her standing at the foot of the most perfect tree.

"Angel…it's perfect!" I said.

"Awwww! I love it!" Nudge said.

"So does everyone like it?" Gazzy asked.

"We're getting this tree!" I said. Then something I wasn't expecting happened. Angel grabbed the axe and started chopping at the tree.

"ANGEL RIDE! OH MY GOD!" I yelled, taking the axe from her hand.

"MAX!" Nudge said. " Do not use God's name in vain!"

"SWEET BABY JESUS!!!" I said. "Is that better Nudge?"

"Yes, thank you!"

"Fang!" I said. "I thought you had the axe!!"

"Well I'm sorry! I'm just human!" He said while falling to his knees in mock shame.

"Ok, then since your just human you can chop the tree while we watch and laugh at your failure!" I said while handing the axe him. "Oh and Angel? Your standing near me from now on!" I said, taking Angel's hand in mine.

We watched Fang chop at that tree for an hour. We may be genetically enhanced mutants but it still takes a long time to chop down a tree the old fashion way.

"Fang?" I said. "You ready to admit failure?" I asked while trying to hold in a laugh.

"NEVER!" Fang said, starting to chop faster at the tree.

"Give me the dang axe!" I said, taking the axe out of his hand. I chopped at the tree once, and it fell like a mighty oak. "And now you children see why a guy should never to a ladies work." I said to the kids. "Because I chopped down the tree Fang gets to carry it to the hotel." I saw his eyes size up the tree.

"Well this is going to be a painful fly home." Fang said while picking up the tree.

"Ok here's the plan. While Fang takes the tree to the hotel, me and the kids will get lights and ornaments. And when and if Fang sets up the tree then he can meet us at the store!" I said happily.

"Alright then! Let us goooo!" Iggy said while flying up into the sky.

All of us were in the sky again. Fang was almost falling from the weight of the tree. But he's the big macho man, or he's supposed to be. Fang flew towards the hotel while me and the rest of my flock flew towards that Wal-Mart. Ahhh…I love Wal-Mart. They sell EVERYTHING! We landed and walked through the front doors. We were confronted by a really old lady….with stickers? Yes, smiley face stickers. She offered one to Angel, and of course Angel excepted it.

"Angel what if that sticker is a tracker or a bomb!?" I said, staring at the sticker.

"Max, calm down. It's not a bomb. Remember I can read minds!" Angel said.

"Can we go to the Christmas section now?" Gazzy asked.

" Fine!" I said. We walked to the Christmas section, and boy was it big! There were huge blow up snowmen and lights of all colors. Nudges jaw was on the ground.

"Guys find lights for the tree and ornaments." I said.

The kids ran to find ornaments and lights, and when I say ran I meant they ran the fastest I ever seen them run. Iggy and Gazzy ran to find lights, Nudge and Angel went to find ornaments. I walked over to the ornament section hoping to find something for Fang. But did you know for Christmas they didn't have any emo looking ornaments! I saw a black pair of wings. I guess that will have to do. Christmas isn't really a black holiday. Gazzy and Iggy came back with red and white lights.

"Guys, you will not be allowed to put these lights on the tree." I said sternly.

"Awww why not?!" Iggy whined.

"Becauseeee, I really don't feel like being one of those families that have a Christmas tree fire!" I said. And yes tree's catch on fire, and it isn't pretty. I saw it on MythBusters. Just then Nudge and Angel came back with boxes of ornaments. Crap, how are we gonna carry all this stuff to the hotel. Well I guess we'll have to wing it -get it? wing? haha-

"Thanks guys. Let's go pay for all this stuff." I said. I saw Angel holding a little Angel ornament.

"I like your cute little ornament Angel." I said. Angel handed it to me so I could get a better look at it. This was one of the cutest ornaments I've seen. I really did look a lot like my Angel.

We bought the ornaments, and I gave everyone 2 bags to carry to the hotel. We had A LOT of stuff. Angel and Gazzy look like they were being weighed down. We landed at the hotel and took the elevator to our room. Everyone had the biggest smiles on their faces as we walked into the room and saw our tree stood up in the corner.

"Fang! You actually accomplished standing the tree up!" I said surprisingly.

"Don't seem so surprised!!" I heard Fang yell from behind the tree.

"Can we start putting the lights and ornaments on the tree?" Angel asked sweetly.

"Sure we can sweetie. Fang and I will start with the lights, then you guys can put on the ornaments." I said.

"Hey, I think we should make popcorn string ornament!" Iggy said, with a bag of popcorn in hand.

"Ehh why not. Knock yourselves out." I said.

I started putting up the lights. Starting from the top of the tree to the bottom. I could hear the kids laughing and popping popcorn. Their probably going to ear most of it before it even makes it on the tree. I rapped the lights around the tree. All the lights were on.

"Guys, did any of the popcorn ornaments last?" I asked.

"Of course they did Max." Nudge said. "We have more self control then you think!"

"Oh yes!" I said sarcastically. "My bad." Angel had one end of the long popcorn string. She tried to reach the top of the tree, but she failed since she was still pretty short.

"Do you want any help sweetie?" I asked Angel, who was still trying to reach the top of the tree.

"Yes please!" She said happily as she gave me the popcorn string. I strung the popcorn string around the top of the tree, and made the string spiral downwards. I gave the rest to Angel so she could put it up. And Angel was able to reach the middle of the tree at least.

"Can we put up the ornaments now?" Gazzy asked.

"Yupp! Everyone grab some ornaments!" I said. I pulled the black wings ornament from my pocket and handed it to Fang.

"I saw this and it reminded me of you." I said shyly.

"Thanks Max." He said stiffly. But what surprised me the most was, he hugged me. Well that was un-Fanglike.

"Awww thanks for the hug Fang." I said happily. Fang put the black wings ornament at the top of the tree. He seem generally happy, which made me happy. The kids were having a blast putting ornaments on. I looked out the window and it seems that it's still snowing.

"I love the snow." Angel said, probably reading my mind. "Maybe tomorrow we can play outside in it."

"As long as I can hit someone with a snowball then I'm in!" Iggy said while putting up an ornament.

"Alright. We can chuck snowballs at each other tomorrow." I said. Gazzy put the last ornament on the tree. He took a step back to admire his work. The tree actually didn't look that bad.

"Ok guys, you ready for me to turn on the lights?" I asked.

"DO IT!!" Everyone-except Fang- screamed. Fang turned off the lights, and I plugged in the tree. It was amazing looking.

"It's beautiful." Angel said. This moment reminded me of the Christmas Story. It was snowing outside and the tree was beautifully lit.

_**Thank you for reading the first chapter in my Christmas series. I also wrote another story involving the flock in Wal-Mart. Gotta love Wal-Mart. Have an amazing Christmas. Another Christmas chapter will be up soon.**_


	9. The Great Snow War

**I've been getting a lot of reviews from Field Hockey lovers!! JUST LIKE ME! Field Hockey is DA-BOMB! To some people out there who enjoy good spelling I must apologize, I am not an excellent speller, and I never will be. And I for one enjoy exclamation points!! They show emotion! So I again apologize for my "over use" of exclamation points/happiness and spelling errors.**

**I got my hand surgery! And it was freakin painful! Anesthesia(stuff that makes you sleep) is your worst nightmare. So now my hand is in extreme pain but I'm still love to write!**

**Christmas Episode 2**

_**The Great Snow War**_

_**The Guys POV**_

"Gazzy, Gazzy. Can you hear me?" Iggy whispered behind his hand.

"Yes Iggy. I can hear you, see you, and if I reached out my hand I could touch you." Gazzy said.

The whole flock was spread out across the park. Around 5in of snow lie on the ground. A snowball war was happening at this very second. Fang, Gazzy and Iggy against Max, Nudge and Angel.

"Where's Fang?" Iggy asked. "Was he captured by the enemy?"

"For the sake of his life I sure hope he wasn't." Gazzy answered. He surveyed the battle field.

"All is quiet." Iggy said. "Wait! I here something, check your left Gazzy." Gazzy's eyes darted to the left. He saw a brown figure dart behind a tree.

"It looks as if we have an intruder." Gazzy said. "It's Nudge. Prepare the snowball's." Iggy and Gazzy picked up a snowball in each hand.

"Iggy, on the count of three I want you to throw everything you got." Gazzy said.

"Everything?" Iggy asked with a huge smile on his face.

"Yes everything." Gazzy said. "Ok. One. Two. Three!" Gazzy yelled as he started chucking snowballs at Nudge.

He heard Nudge scream as she got pelted with snowballs. But Gazzy saw that something else was thrown. It wasn't a snowball because it was black. He looked down at Iggy and saw he was missing one of his shoes.

"Iggy, where's your other shoe?" Gazzy asked.

"Well you did tell me to throw everything I got." Iggy said with a small laugh.

"Man you're a genius!" Gazzy said while giving Iggy a high five.

**The Girls POV**

"Tell us where the rest of your troop is!" Max screamed in Fang's face. Fang was currently kidnapped, and duck tapped to a tree.

"I will never tell the location!" Fang said boldly. Angel came up behind Max.

"Max, I sent Nudge out to search the perimeter for Iggy and or Gazzy." Angel said with a salute.

"Good job Angel." Max said. "Now do you have any ideas on how to get young Fang here to talk?"

"I have a perfect idea." Angel said with an evil smile. Angel bent down and grabbed a handful of snow, and shoved it into Fang's shirt. Fang yelped with surprise.

"Are you ready to tell us the location of your troop yet? Or do you need more snow?" Max asked

"Nothing you do to me will make me talk!" Fang said in Maxes face.

At that moment they heard Nudges scream. And then they saw Nudge run toward them with a face full of snow and a shoe in her hand.

"Iggy threw a freaking shoe at me!!" Nudge screamed. "The nerve of some people!!"

"He threw a shoe?" Angel asked. "Well maybe we should plan our payback."

"Angel, I couldn't have said it any better myself." Max said. "Nudge watch the prisoner. And if the prisoner misbehaves you can either duck tape him more or shove snow down his shirt."

Max and Angel went out onto the battlefield. Max went on one knee and looked for footprints in the snow.

"Nothing." Max said. "Can you read their minds?"

"Yes I can, but we made rules that we're not allowed to use our "powers"." Angel said with a frown.

"Dang." Max said.

**Guys and Girls POV**

They spotted each other at the same moment.

"FIRE!!" Max and Gazzy both shouted.

Angel grabbed an arm full of snow and started pelting snow at her brother. While Angel and Gazzy were in combat Iggy was throwing his never ending pile of snowballs.

"Where do you get all these snowballs from?!" Max screamed.

"I'm magical!!" Iggy yelled back.

"Nudge!!" Max yelled. "Ditch the prisoner and help us!" They saw Nudge running towards them.

So now it was Max and Nudge chucking snowballs at Iggy, and Angel was holding her own against Gazzy.

"Ahhhh! We surrender!!" Iggy yelled. You could barely recognize Iggy and Gazzy. They looked like giant freezing yeti's.

"Haha! We are victories!" Max said while giving Nudge and Angel a high five.

"Can we go make some hot chocolate?" Angel asked.

"Sure. Let's go get inside and get warmed up guys." Max said.

"I have a feeling we're forgetting something…" Gazzy said. "Oh well, it's probably nothing."

They walked into the hotel and went up to their room. Iggy made some hot chocolate. Everyone was sitting at the table when Max spoke up.

"Yea guys. We left Fang duck tapped to a tree." Max said Everyone just laughed.

**Yay! Second Christmas Chapter is written! R&R**


	10. The sound of Yelling

**Hello again readers! Don't you just love Christmas time? Well I love it! Except for the constant Christmas music, and my parents ALWAYS wanting to watch random Christmas movies!**

**Ok so now I have like a whole in my hand! Stupid surgery!!! But it was entertaining.**

**I would like my disclaimer please.**

**Iggy: Merry CHRISTMAS to all!!**

**Me: someone's in the Christmas spirit….shocking!**

**Iggy: Ehh I only like it because I get presents and I can wear a weird Santa hate and not be stared at.**

**Me: That makes complete sense! Disclaimer?**

**Iggy: Claire DOESN'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE!!**

* * *

_Christmas Episode 3_

_The sound of Yelling_

_Random Cop POV_

You know how close to Christmas it is?! Yea its seriously close. And I'm forced to work with my stupid partner Glenn. He turned the Christmas music up higher. Well at least I had donuts. I was driving around town, looking for anything out of the ordinary. I turned a corner then put on my brakes. I saw someone duck tapped to a tree. He was struggling against the duck tap.

"Holy Crap Glenn!!" I said while trying to park the car.

"What? I didn't eat the last donut! I swear!" He said, trying to stuff the donut in his mouth

"No there's some kid duck tapped to a tree!" **(Thank you Nighthawk21 for giving me this idea!!!!)**

Awesome Line!!!

**MaxPOV**

I was having one of those amazing dreams where you would kill anyone who woke you up. And guess what someone woke me!! I heard the door slam and heard and angry Fang grunt.

"FLOCK GET IN HERE!!" I heard Fang scream. Well crap.

"Fang why did you wake us?" I whined.

"Oh I don't know! Maybe it's because I was left duck tapped to a freakin tree!!!" He yelled. The rest of the flock walked drowsily into the room.

"Faaaaaang, you woke me up! And you know I hate to be waken up!!" Nudge said while rubbing her eyes.

"Do any of you remember duck tapping me to a tree!!" Fang yelled.

"Well you did deserve it." Angel said, holding Celeste to her chest.

"What the fu-" Fang said, but I cut him off by yelling. "LANGUAGE!"

"Well you didn't tell us where Gazzy and Iggy were…so we tied you up. And besides you should talk more, because if you would have yelled while we were outside we wouldn't have forgotten about you. This is one of those life lessons." Angel said. Ok hold on here. Did Angel just sound like she's older than me? Fang was speechless.

"I agree with the youngest member." Iggy said while moving towards Angel. Fang's face was turning red. This was kinda funny.

"And this is why I barely talk to you people!!" Fang yelled.

"Well if you duck tapped me to a tree you would probably would have forgotten me." Gazzy said.

"Gazzy everyone forgets about you." Iggy said with a smile.

"Wait. What's exactly happening here?" I said.

"We were talking about how we left Fang to fend for himself." Nudge said. "then Angel told us a life lesson then Gazzy-"

"NUDGE!" I said, putting my hand over the 12 year-olds mouth.

I don't even know what was happening anymore. All I know is that I wanted to go back to bed.

"Let's just go back to bed…everyone right now is just a little testy." I said in a calm voice.

"Ok but tomorrow we're rocking out to Christmas music!" Nudge said while stomping off to bed.

This is one of the weirdest nights I've ever had. It involved duck tape, short -term memory loss, and life lessons. And tomorrow should be even more interesting.

**Sorry that this chapter is soooo short. I just wanted to have Fang come back from the duck tape hell!**

**R&R **


	11. Holly Jolly?

**Greetings…again!! Ha-ha! I just realized I had a HUGE spelling mistake in my last couple chapters (thanks to a fellow reader). I spelled duct tape wrong! I feel stupid! But I do enjoy spelling it duck tape!**

**People guess what…only 3 days to Christmas!! What do you guys want for Christmas? Anything extremely weird that you want me to hear about an put in one of my chapters? SEND A REVIEWWW OR MESSAGE!!**

**Me: Disclaimer….dissssclaimer?**

**Iggy: disclaimer?**

**Me: What's with the Santa hat?**

**Iggy: I'm letting out my inner child.**

**Me: Well then can that inner child tell me the disclaimer?**

**Iggy: SHE NO OWN NOTHING!!**

**Me: Thank you my inner child friend! Chapter time…**

* * *

_**Christmas Episode 4**_

_**Holly Jolly?**_

_**MaxPOV**_

Once again I was sleeping….enjoying the time of quietness. Uber comfy and warm. But OF COURSE it doesn't last long. I was once again woken up from my slumber from Nudge jumping on my bed.

"MAX, MAX, MAX!!" Nudge yelled while jumping. "WAKE UPPPP!!"

"Ughhh what could you possibly want?" I mumbled, my pillow covering my head.

"I want you to WAKE UP!!" Nudge said while grabbing my pillow and hitting me with it.

"Ughhh!!! FINE!" I said while getting up.

"So now that your up me and everyone else wanted to sing and listen to Christmas songs." Nudge said. "Meet us in the living room!"

I could already hear the kids setting up the sound system. Sure I guess you could say I have a little bit of Christmas spirit…but singing is just a little too much. I don't even think I can sing! So now I am walking out into a Christmas song death trap…joy.

"Hey Max!" Angel said, jumping down from the couch to give me a hug.

"Hey sweetheart." I said while hugging her back.

"Ok enough with the hugs and love I want to SING!" Iggy said, doing a head bang.

"Iggy we're not listening to "head banging" music." Nudge said.

"Someone turn on the radio! I want to amaze you all with my fab-u-lous voice." Gazzy said.

Nudge was turning the knob on the radio, trying to find the perfect Christmas station. Ugh. Fang was standing in the corner, trying not to get sick from all the Christmas cheer.

"Got the station!" Nudge said. "It sounds like jingle bells is on!"

Nudge broke out into song dancing along with…bells? Don't ask.

"Dashing through the snow." Gazzy sang. "In a ripped up Chevrolet over hills we go, screaming all the way! First one tire falls off and then the whole car wrecks, and when we got back down on the ground we thought we all were dead! Oh Jing-"

"Gazzy?!" I interrupted. "What the heck was that?!"

"It's my new version of Jingle Bells!" Gazzy said with a huge smile on his face.

"OMG!! Its Deck the Halls!!" Nudge said. "Max…sing? Please!" She gave me bambi eyes…crap.

"Fine…play the song." I said, still grumbling.

"Deck the halls with boughs and holly!" Nudge sang, then eyed me.

"Fa la la la la la la la la…" I said madly.

"Tis the season to be jolly!" Angel sang happily, taking my hand in hers.

"Fa la la la la la la la la…" I sang. "Fang sing!"

"Don we now our gay apparel!" Nudge sang. I smacked Fang.

"Fa la la la la la la la la…" Fang whispered. Fang somewhat sang….amazing!

"Max." Angel said, tugging on my sleeve. "What does gay mean?" dang…

"Well Angel it means-" I started.

"It means guys enjoying other guys in a sick way!" Iggy yelled.

"IGGY!" I yelled, throwing a cookie at his face.

"Ouch Max!!" Iggy said while rubbing his eye. "You hit my eye! I'm trying to get my sight back, not completely lose it because of a dang cookie!"

"You deserved it! Now tell Angel the real meaning of "gay"" I said, tapping my foot on the ground.

"Ugh fine. It means your to "Happy"." Iggy said, putting air quotes around happy.

"Sure, I'll go along with it." Angel said, looking all of us in the eyes. "But I know the truth!"

Well that was strange. Fang was still in the corner, Iggy was laughing about "gay rights", Gazzy was mimicking random famous singers, Nudge was dancing to the music…badly, and Angel was looking at Iggy weirdly.

"Have a HOLLY JOLLY Christmas!" Gazzy said, imitating that old mans voice (who sung the song)

Yea…I'm definitely in the Christmas Spirit.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Words of advice: Don't get trampled by ongoing Christmas shoppers.**

**R&R plzzz**


	12. Deadly Day of Gifts

**I've got that holiday feeling!! Happy Christmas people!! Guess what?! I STILL SUCK AT SPELLING!!**

**Me: Disclaimer?**

**Angel: Why am I here?**

**Me: How should I know? Usually my Iggy is here!**

**Angel: Your Iggy?**

**Me: Oh yesss my Iggy!**

**Angel: Hmm I like you! Your almost as creepy as me!**

**Me: I don't know whether to thank you or scream…**

**Angel: Either way you still wont own Maximum Ride!!**

**Me: Chapter time? Yay? I mean YAY!!**

* * *

_Christmas Episode 5_

_Deadly Day of Gifts_

_MaxPOV_

Apparently it's Christmas morning. How would I know you might ask? Because I get woken up AGAIN by three little children jumping on my bed. I already told them there wasn't much for Christmas because, you know, we're on the run, and we don't have any money. Even though there was like on one present for each one of use Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel still want to wake me up!

"WAKE UP MAXXX!!" All three of them yelled. "It's CHRISTMAS!!"

"Why do you guys enjoy torturing me?" I moaned.

"Because we already tortured Fang and Iggy. So your next on the list!" Angel said, jumping off of my bed.

"Guys I don't want you to be disappointed. We couldn't get a lot this year." I said.

"That's fine!" Nudge said a little to loudly. "We just wanna have fun on Christmas!!"

"And eat cookies that "Santa" didn't eat." Gazzy said with a smile.

I mumbled and got out of bed. The kids ran out of my room giggling. Iggy already was starting breakfast, and Fang was sitting on the couch by the tree.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked Iggy, trying to look over his shoulder to see what he was making.

"The whole damn grocery store!" Iggy said with a small laugh.

"Language my dear brother."

"Can we open presents now?" Gazzy asked, staring at the small pile of gifts by the tree.

"Yea can we, can we, can we, can-" Nudge was interrupted by Fang putting his hand over her mouth.

"Nudge, calm the heck down." Fang said.

"If only we could document this moment!" I said dramatically. The Flock gathered in the small living around the tree.

"Ok who wants to go first?" I said.

"I do!!!!" Nudge yelled.

"Alright open it then!!" Iggy yelled from the other side of the room. It wasn't actually a gift…it was more of a gift card with an uber amount of money on it.

"OMG!!" Nudge screamed as she looked at the contents of her card. "$150 to PacSun!!"

"Alright who's next?" I said.

"Can I gooooo?" Iggy asked.

"Sure. Gazzy picked this gift out for you." I said, handing him the orb sized gift.

"Hmm, I wonder what it is." He shook it a couple of times.

"What's that annoying beeping sound?" Angel asked. I heard Gazzy cackling in the corner.

"Gazzy…." I said warningly.

Just then all hell exploded. Not the good kind of hell either. I couldn't see anything, just a huge black cloud.

"REPORT!!" I yelled.

"Merry Christmas!!!" Gazzy yelled.

"We're all fine Max!" Angel said.

"Gazzy I will kill you!!!" Nudge said, trying to stand up.

"SAVE MEEE!!!" Gazzy said, trying to run away from a blood thirsty Nudge.

"Ok guys just calm down!" Fang said while putting up his hands in surrender. "I'm sure Gazzy didn't mean to blow everything up…well, now that I think of it he probably did mean to. But let's all sit be the burnt couch and just have a good Christmas." By the end of that little speech everyone jaw was on the ground.

"Umm…Ok?" Angel said, still shocked.

We all sat around the burnt couch…just like Fang told us to. Everything was basically black. So do you think anything else can go wrong. If you guessed yes then you are absolutely correct!! The Christmas tree randomly burst into flames. Yupp it just caught fire. How you may say? The recent events above may help to explain. Angel ran to get the fire extinguisher and sprayed white foam all over the tree. I was still in somewhat shock.

"Well at least it looked like it snowed indoors." I said. This was becoming a crappy Christmas.

"Do know what's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?" Iggy asked. "Santa stops after 3 ho's!! You get it?"

"You are a comedy wizard Iggy." I said.

"Max? Since the TV isn't melted can we watch a Christmas movie?" Angel asked.

"Actually that sounds like a great idea."

I flipped through the TV channels, it seems The Christmas Story is being shown all day. That seems like something that will give you Christmas spirit! Angel was sitting on my lap, and I was resting my head against Fang's shoulder. Fang started to stroke my hair. Nudge and Gazzy were leaned up against Iggy. Maybe this Christmas wasn't so bad after all.

"Hey guys? You know Santa and all?" Iggy said. "Yea well move the "n" in Santa 2x to the right…it spells Satan!!! Scary thought isn't it?"

* * *

**I must thank Nighthawk21 for random AMAZING ideas! Natvv…you are famous in heart, but thanks for helping me spell! R&R**


	13. Isnt that Illegal?

**Hope you guys had a very Merry Christmas! It's almost 2010!!**

**I hope you guys enjoy this story!…Just felt like saying that! Thanks for the reviews!**

**Me: GUYS I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE…never will!**

**Iggy: Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up here! I thought I was the disclaimer dude.**

**Me: Well…I wanted to shake things up a bit.**

**Iggy: I'm deeply hurt…**

**Me: Awww I sorry! *Huggles***

**Chapter!! VVVVV**

* * *

_New Years Episode 1_

_Isn't That Illegal?_

_MaxPOV_

The Flock was still recovering from the Christmas-hell-in-a-hotel thing. But today is New Years Eve! So that means tomorrow is 2010! We had to buy a new couch though…thank gawd Jeb gave me a credit card. Speaking of my credit card…I wonder where it is? I searched all my pockets, but then I realized Iggy, Gazzy, and Angel were missing. Why did they leave Nudge behind? I have noooo idea.

"Nudge?" I asked in a stern voice. "Where are the others?"

"Hmm?" Nudge said looking up from her book. "Oh I have no idea! But why didn't they take me?! I feel so left out. Do they want to-"

"Nudge?" Fang inturrepted. "I still feel sick from talking on Christmas…so please SHUT UP!

"Fang needs to take some happy pills." Nudge sang.

"Well now that we solved why Fang is so unhappy but where are the others?!" I said, starting to get worried.

I stood up preparing to venture force on a search party. Fang was rubbing his temples, and Nudge was reading and being quiet. Wow. I started towards the door right when it opened revealing three bird kids. Iggy and Gazzy ran towards their room faster then a speeding bullet while Angel jumped into my arms.

"Hey Max!" She said happily. I stared at her.

"Where the heck were you guys!!" I yelled loud enough so that Gazzy and Iggy could hear me. "I was starting to get worried!" Iggy walked out of his room.

"There's a very good explanation of why we were out." Iggy started. "Tonight is New Year's so me, Gazzy, and shorty went to get food." Angel's noise scrunched as she gave Iggy a death glare worthy of me. Of course he was blind.

"Good thing I can give a mental picture." Angel said.

"Well if you bought food…then where is it?" I said.

"Gazzy!" Iggy yelled. "Bring out the food!" Gazzy came out of his room carrying around two dozen bags of food.

"How did you carry all of that?" I asked, looking down at Angel in my arms.

"We're awesome like that." Angel said. Iggy and Gazzy nodding in agreement.

"Gazzer help me set up the food" Iggy said. "Nudge you can help too, as long as you don't eat any yet."

"Oh you want little old me to help?" Nudge said in mock horror. "Me? Are you sure? You didn't care to invite me to your little shopping party!"

"Nudge you'll find out, just come and help." Iggy said, trying to hold in laughter.

I sat on the couch next to Fang with Angel on my lap. I watched Iggy, Gazzy, and Nudge trying to set up a table and to put food on it. I chuckled softly. I don't know why, but seeing them do work is amusing to me. Fang gave me a weird look and Angel joined in with laughing with me.

"Hey Iggy." Gazzy said. "Can you make some tacos for dinner?" Oh dear god no!

"Iggy think about your answer." I said.

"Ehh, why not!" He said. Already pulling out ingredients to make tacos.

**NudgePOV**

I walked into Iggy and Gazzy's room. You could say I was curious at what the contents oh that Wal-Mart bag was. I peeked into the bag and saw a bottle. Oh their in trouble now. Did you guys guess what's in the bag? Well if you said alcohol you were absolutely correct!

"Iggy?!" I yelled.

"Umm, coming!" I heard him yell back. He knew I was in his room.

"What the hell is this?" I said calmly.

"Well that is sparkling water." He said just as calmly.

"Sparkling water that has an alcohol content?!" My voice was getting higher.

"Nudge, Nudge, Nudge." Iggy started. "Everyone on New Year's is allowed to drink alcohol!"

"Seriously?" I said. Well I had no idea what the laws were.

"Of course! New Years is basically alcohol day! But people of authority aren't allowed to know."

"So that means you don't want me to tell Max?"

"Exactly!"

"But isn't drinking illegal?" I asked. People would say I wasn't the smartest crayon in the box.

"Not on New Years!" He said happily.

"Fine!" I walked out angrily.

**IggyPOV**

That was a lot easier than I thought! Now, now, now don't be mad at me. I'm actually quite curious of what beer taste like. Max better not find out.

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Do you wanna know what happens to Iggy? Do ya, do ya?! Well you'll have to wait for the next chapter!**

**R&R**


	14. Mutated Beer Bottle

**Hello Readers! I must thank you all for the amazing reviews/alerts/favorites and all of the awesome ideas. You people are awesome!**

**~Thanks Anomis/Parker! I might work that idea into one of my chapters. And I know exactly what you mean when you said anomis.**

**~Thanks Faxisthegreatest123. I'm hoping my chapter will be interesting. **

**~Thanks nm-Maximumride4eva! Nudge probably should know better…but I enjoy making people sound/look stupid!**

**~Thanks Samantha Windz. The world is a horrible, horrible place. But it will be amusing to see Iggy get drunk!**

**~Thanks Dt2009 with Dark Blue Wings! Holy crap your name is long! Bad things happening is hilarious!**

**~Thanks soo much Natvv! You've been a reviewer since the beginning and I just feel like thanking you!**

**~Thank you Nighthawk21!! You basically helped write some of these chapters! You gave me some freakin amazing ideas! **

* * *

**Me: Disclaimer? Please?!**

**Iggy: I think I'm gonna enjoy this chapter!**

**Me: Why? Because your breaking the law?**

**Iggy: I think everyone wants to at least break one law.**

**Me: Yes! Everyone just enjoys going to jail!!**

**Iggy: Exactly! Ok , you don't own Maximum Ride!**

**Me: Thank you my dear! CHAPTER!!**

* * *

_New Year's Episode 2_

_Mutated Beer Bottle _

_MaxPOV_

Me and the Flock were sitting down. Waiting patiently for the "ball" to fall. I don't really get why people do this. Oh wow a new year! Big whoop! Angel was still on my lap, Fang's arm was around my shoulders, Nudge was sitting on the other side of me, Gazzy was sitting at my feet eating a load of junk food, and Iggy was in his room.

"Why do they celebrate New Year's with a ball?" Gazzy asked. "Like Christmas you get gifts! So why don't we get gifts for New Year's?""American's have strange customs." Fang said.

"You say that like your not American!" I said while smirking.

"Well I don't really know. For all I know I could be Chinese!" Fang said, throwing his hand up in the air.

"Yea, your just that Chinese." Nudge said. Angel was clutching her stomach in laughter.

Then I heard a huge thump coming from Iggy's room and a long line of swear words coming from Iggy himself.

"Iggy get out here!!" I said, taking Angel off my lap. I stood up just when Iggy came out of his room grabbing the wall like he was about to fall down.

"Hail the pumpkin king!" Iggy said, his words slurred.

"Iggy what the heck!?" Fang said, watching this scene from the couch.

"I dontz know what ya'll talkin' bout." Iggy said. I pushed past Iggy and went into his room.

**AngelPOV**

I watched silently as Max went into Iggy's room. I heard her angry yell even before her mind processed what she saw! She came out with two beer bottles. She looked like she was about to explode.

"IGGY!!!!" She said. "What the FRICK is this?!"

"Well lil lady, I don't got any sight!" Iggy said while petting the wall.

"I'll give you a hint, it's a bottle, it's brown, and it has alcohol shit in it!" Wow she was seriously angry.

"I finally found out why Iggy didn't take me shopping with him." I heard Nudge whisper to Gazzy.

"Maz, Maz, Mazz. That's no beer. That is a dog that was mutated into that here bottle." People are stupid when their drunk.

"Are you drunk Iggy?" Gazzy asked. Well I guess people can be stupid even when their not drunk.

"Walk in a straight line Iggy!" Max yelled. Iggy surprisingly walked in a straight line.

"OK, now dance." Max said. Iggy started dancing. It was ok dancing. Max was snickering behind her hand. At least she was having fun making Iggy look like a fool.

"You're a surprisingly good dancer." Max said.

"Nahh. I'm just drunk." Iggy said. "Crap, I mean I am not drunk!" Max slapped Iggy and he fell to the floor.

Iggy looked unhurt. While Iggy was on the floor he started doing the worm while singing "Mary had a little lamb".

"What the heck Iggy?" Gazzy asked.

"Happy llama, sad lama, mentally disturbed llama, super llama, drama llama, big fat mama llama, mouse." Iggy sang. This was somewhat entertaining.

"Happy New Year's to us." I heard Fang whisper in Maxes ear.

* * *

**I enjoyed writing this! OK PEOPLE IMPORTANT!! MUST READDD!! I'm changing the name of this story because it doesn't fit the story anymore, Please help me pick a new title! Please and thank you!! R&R**


	15. Flour Power

**Hola people! Now its down to business. Some of you people have reviewed and told me what you might like. I just so happen to like ****Flock Madness.**** But that's just me! (thanks SynchroStar16 for the title idea). Anymore last minute ideas? Come on people I need ideas!**

**Me: Ok you know the deal Iggy.**

**Iggy: I got to break the law!!**

**Me: -face palm- Why must I make Iggy do bad things!?**

**Iggy: Because you like me happy!**

**Me: Or I like seeing you get beat up by Max…but I'll go with the "happy" thing.**

**Iggy: Wait so you don't like me?!**

**Me: I never said that! *wink wink* Disclaimer my dear?**

**Iggy: fine, you don't own Maximum Ride…or Canada.**

**Me: For all you know I could already own Canada! Chapter time…**

* * *

_New Year's Episode 3_

_Flour Power_

_MaxPOV_

It's FINALLY 2010. The Flock didn't even bother going to sleep. I mean we stay up till midnight to watch an overly expensive colorful ball fall, and random "celebrities" , that no one knows the name of, sing. But we had something extra to watch. We got to watch Iggy make a fool of himself, but that's wasn't the best part. Now Iggy is sick in the bathroom. Thank you sweet karma!

"Hey Gazzy." I said while walking into the living room. "Is Iggy still spewing chunks?" Yea I say spewing chunks, I'm no proper princess!

"Ha-ha, yes." Gazzy said, turning the channel to America's Funniest Home Videos. "I feel bad for the guy."

"Yea, I don't! He deserved it. I probably should have called the cops to smack some sense into that kid."

I watched TV. AFV was quite funny. People were hurting themselves, most of the videos were just stupid though. I stood up and walked into the kitchen to find…something I wasn't expecting. Nudge and Angel were attempting to bake cookies. And I do mean attempting.

"Hiya Max!" Angel said. She was holding a bag a flour. Half of the bag of flower was already emptied onto the floor, the wall, and the bird-kids!

"M-m-max! What are you doing here?!" Nudge said. " I thought you were gonna kill Iggy? Ahhh! Don't kill me I'm-" Nudge was interrupted by flour hitting her face. I wonder who could have thrown that? The little angel perhaps?

"What the heck were you guys trying to accomplish?!" I said. I knew my face was starting red.

"Whoa Max." I heard Fang say as he walked into the kitchen. "Your face is going to catch on fire if you get any madder." Both of the girls thought that was hilarious. So you know what I did? I did the un-mature thing and started to throw flour at them.

"Ahhhh! MAX!!" I heard Nudge scream. You couldn't see anything in the kitchen because of the huge freakin' flour cloud!

I stood still for a second. I'm trying to figure out where everyone was when I felt something tackle me from behind.

"Ahh!" That was all my genius mind could think to say at the moment. I saw Gazzy behind me smiling.

"You little stinker!" I said as I went to pick him up. But he had other idea's.

"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!" He said as he took out his…marshmallow shooter? Where the heck did this kid get that from?! He started shooting marshmallows…this kid was now as good as dead.

I heard Angel shriek as a marshmallow hit her face. Me, Nudge, Angel, Fang, and now Gazzy were covered in flour and were getting pelted with marshmallowy goodness. We all froze when we heard the toilet flush and the bathroom door open. Iggy walked out and stood still when he was in front of the kitchen. He felt the wall.

"Awww! I'm still drunk! This wall was not white!" Iggy said while throwing up his hands in anger.

"Stupid website said that I should sober!" We watched as Iggy mumbled angrily and walked out of the kitchen. We all looked at each other for five seconds then started laughing hysterically.

"Max." I heard Angel say. "Since we have marshmallows and all can we make some hot chocolate?"

Well this was a fun first day of the new year!!

* * *

**Thank you for reading! Happy 2010! Dont forget to give me some title idea's!! R&R**


	16. Center of a Tootsie Pop

Hiya people! OK so I am definitely changing the title to Flock Madness….because it fit's the story! Thank you for the random reviews! Love ya guys!

Me: hehe Hi Iggy.

Iggy: Ummm Hi?

Me: hehe…

Iggy: Ok I'm getting really freaked out over here.

Me: Oh you should be. You haven't given me the disclaimer yet.

Iggy: Because you freaked me out! Seriously scary.

Me: GOOD! Now DISCLAIMER!

Iggy: She doesn't own Maximum Ride. But she does own a weird brain.

Me: Thanks for the compliment! Chapter

* * *

_**Flock Madness (NEW TITLE!!)**_

_**Center of a Tootsie Pop**_

_**AngelPOV**_

I was sitting on the couch, watching TV when my show was interrupted by those annoying commercials. And it was annoying. All it kept saying was "How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?!". And there was an owl that kept cheating by biting the tootsie pop.

Even though it was annoying it did give me an idea. I knew for a fact we had tootsie pops here somewhere. And there's no better way to get rid of boredom by licking a tootsie pop! I stood up and went to go search the kitchen. Just my luck we had some! I took of the rapper and stuck the lollipop in my mouth.

"One." I said as I licked it.

"Two. Three. Four."

"Angel what are you doing?" Nudge said as she walked in, giving me a weird look.

"I am finding out the impossible!" I said while showing Nudge my tootsie pop.

"With a lollipop?" She asked.

"Yupp! The commercial gave me a challenge!" I said while handing her a tootsie pop. "Join me!"

"Eh, why not! I have nothing better to do." Nudge said. She took four licks so we could be at the same point.

"Five. Six. Seven. Eight." We said together.

"You know this could take the rest of our lives to find this out." Nudge said, as she stared at her tootsie pop.

"When I start something, I finish it!"

"Fine."

"Nine. Ten. Eleven. Twelve."

"What are you guys doing?" Max said as she walked in.

"THE FUTURE!" I said.

"The future of candy?" Max asked.

"Possibly." Nudge said.

* * *

**While the lollipop fun was going on the guys were doing something completely different.**

_GazzyPOV\_

"Gazzy! Where's my bubble wand?!" Iggy said, starting to get angry.

"Iggy, calm down! I have you wand right here!" I said, handing the bubble wand to Iggy.

"We must make a million bubbles!" Iggy said, blowing into the bubble wand to make a bubble.

"Is that possible?" I asked.

Iggy was having a huge freak out about blowing a million bubbles. I don't know why…but why not join him? I started blowing as much air as I could into the bubble wand. I produced a bubble but it didn't take long for the bubble to pop in my face and getting soapy stuff in my eyes.

"Aw man! Those bubbles burn!" I said, rubbing my eyes. "Who knew bubbles could be evil?!"

"There is an evil and good side to everything Gazzer." Iggy said.

"Is this a life lessen we're learning here?" Fang said, walking into the room.

"Possibly Fang, possibly." Iggy said, trying to blow the biggest bubble. Fang sat down next to me, and grabbed a bubble wand.

"Fang." Iggy said. "I thought emo guys didn't blow bubbles." I smirked.

"Emo guys blow bubbles! But I'm not saying I'm emo!" Fang stuttered.

"Hehe Fang's emo." I said behind my hand.

"Ugh! Blow your stupid bubble!" Fang said, walking out of the room angrily.

* * *

**Back to Angel's POV**

"101. 102. 103. 104." Holy crap I was going insane!

Nudge looked like she was dead. She was leaning against the wall licking her lollipop. Max was staring at us, wide-eyed. She didn't think we could last any longer.

"I finally understand why the owl cheats!" I said.

"Angel I don't think I can go much longer. Nudge said dramatically. Fang walked into the room…looking seriously mad. I read his mind and it was...messed up. I saw bubbles, emo-ness, and life lessons. Lovely.

"What's up Fang?" Max said.

"Max, you don't wanna know." I said while stifling a laugh.

Max looked at me, confusion in her eyes. Fang smiled and thanked me in his head. I could hear Gazzy and Iggy in their room…still blowing bubbles. And Nudges face was becoming red…weird.

"AHHH! I'm sick of this freakin lollipop!!" Nudge said, throwing her lollipop on the ground and stomping on it.

"Poor lollipop." I said. Looking at its shattered remains.

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**Review my friends…review. Almost to 100 reviews! YAY! Any ideas for funny things the flock can do? TELL ME!!**


	17. Laptops Galore

**Hi folks!…hehe I sound country. Ok so nothing interesting is happening. Life is boring yadda yadda yadda. Finals for High school are coming up so I have to freak out.**

**Me: Disclaimer?!?!?**

**Max: No.**

**Me: SWEET BABY JESUS! Where did you come from?**

**Max: Your mom.**

**Me: Whoa. So does that mean the books all a lie and your actually my sister?!**

**Max: No.**

**Me: Well, you wont give me the disclaimer…so I guess I own you! HA!**

**Max: Holy crap! Claire doesn't own me!! Or the flock.**

**Me: Yes! But according to Iggy I own a weird mind! Chapter time!**

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_Flock Madness_

_Laptops Galore _

_MaxPOV_

I am presuming all of you people out there have some form of internet, and if you don't then how the hell are you reading this?! But for the Flock only one person and one person along owns a laptop. And that would be Fangy boy. Do you think that's unfair. Because I do! So I am gonna do something about it. I marched to Fang's room and knocked on the door. Fang opened it showing off his awesome ~sarcasm~ black room.

"Fang, I want a laptop too." I said sternly.

"Isn't that a little random?"

"No. I have been thinking about this for a long time." Now that I think about it, I did want a laptop a long time ago.

"Fine." Fang said, opening his door a little wider. "Come into my laptop gallery."

I walked into his room, and couldn't believe my eyes. He had tons of laptops! I was starting to wonder why he had all of these laptops…it was kinda creepy. I thought he might have tried to build a robot girlfriend before I came along. Fang opened the closet and took out a red laptop.

"Is this to your liking?" He asked, handing me the laptop.

"Yes thank you very much." I said, still confused on why the hell he had all of these.

"Ok. Get onto a chat room. Now we can talk to each other virtually!" I said running out of Fang's room and into the living room to sit on the couch.

I turned on the computer and watched in wonder as it lighted up. It actually worked! I logged into a chat room as _MagnificentMax. _What can I say…I'm not modest! I saw that Fang was logged as _EmoKid. _Well that fit him perfectly!

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**Computer Chat Room**

_**MagnificentMax is now logged into chat room**_

_**EmoKid is now logged into chat room**_

EmoKid: Why did you make you name so long?

MagnificentMax: Cuzz I'm cool like that. And I can spell!

EmoKid: But you cant spell worth crap.

MagnificentMax: I am freakin' amazing!!

Emokid: ……

MagnificentMax: You better talk to me!!

_**InvisibleNinja is now logged into chat room.**_

InvisibleNinja: Helloooooooo!

MagnificentMax: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU!?

InvisibleNinja: I am everything.

EmoKid: Max maybe we should get off.

InvisibleNinja: Aww true love. Use protection!

MagnificentMax: Your CRAZY!!

_**MagnificentMax logged off to run from crazy minds**_

EmoKid: You can run from crazy minds?

InvisibleNinja: Hug me you marshmallow!

_**EmoKid logged off to destroy all marshmallows**_

InvisibleNinja: They'll be back…they always come back.

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**Angel'sPOV**

"Haha! It's amazing how they freak out so easily." I said.

"Iggy, I like the whole 'InvisibleNinja' name!" Gazzy said, laughing uncontrollably.

"Thank you all!" Iggy said while bowing.

"We'll get on again to freak them out…right?" I said.

"Why of course!" Iggy said.

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***GASP* Angel, Gazzy and Iggy are InvisibleNinja! I enjoy freaking Max and Fang out. Review people…and give me ideas…I enjoy ideas.**


	18. Fat People In Thongs

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Hello world! So I am currently sitting here…bored out of my mind. Trying to think of some ideas for this dang story!! Ideas people?

Me: DISCLAIMERRRRR!!!

Iggy: No need to yell. I have sensitive ears.

Me: I was NOT yelling!!

Iggy: See, your doing it again.

Me: I can see why Max thinks your annoying…

Iggy: She's probably secretly in love with me.

Me: I'm telling Max!!

Iggy: NO! fine I'll give you the disclaimer! SHE NO OWN! There…now you wont tell...right?

Me: Maybe, maybe…no promises. CHAPTER…look down.

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Flock Madness

Fat People In Thongs

Gazzy POV

I found the scariest website in the world. Can you guess what it is? Well its . It scared the crap outa me. Their were fat people in thongs! And people seriously need to know that skinny jeans do NOT make you look skinny if your fat!

"Iggy!" I yelled. "Get over here!!" I heard Iggy run down to the living room.

"What's up bro?"

"I found this sick hilarious website that I can tell you about in detail." I laughed at the picture that came on the screen.

"Ok! Details Gazzy, details!" Iggy looked rather excited about fat people.

"Oh no, this person has back boobs!" I screamed at the picture of a fat women.

"Back boobs?" Iggy looked confused. I guess he didn't know what back boobs were.

"Yeah, back boobs. It's like boobs but their on the back of fat people!" I scrolled down the page.

"Oh, holy crap. Fat women with thongs should not bend down." I cringed at the picture.

"Gosh, I wish I could see this!" Iggy looked really disappointed that he couldn't see the fat people.

"Ha-ha! This fat person has a shirt that say 'Fart Loading, 95%'" I laughed.

"Well that's attractive." Said Iggy, putting as much sarcasm into the comment as possible.

"She's a perfect match for you isn't she?" I said, laughing hysterically.

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Angels POV

"Nudge, I'm bored." I said, putting on my best cute face.

"Do something entertaining then." She said. Ugh, if there was something entertaining then I wouldn't be bored!

Ugh, I'll figure out something to do. I walked into the living room and suddenly got a great idea. I ran into the dinning room and carried 4 chairs into the living room. I picked up numerous pillows and started building a wall for my awesome pillow/chair fort. Then I grabbed a bunch of paper, you'll find out later why I got paper. I jumped into my fort and crouched down behind the pillow. I heard someone walk into the room.

"Angel?" I heard Nudge ask. I crumpled up some paper and started chucking them at her.

"EEEEP!" Nudge screeched and she got pelted with paper.

"That's what you get for not saving me from boredom!" I yelled.

"So you made a fort?" Nudge asked, picking up the paper balls I threw at her.

"Well no duh!" I said, making hand gestures towards the fort. "You may join me if you wish." I said, ducking back down into the fort. Nudge jumped into the fort and crouched down with me.

"Whoa this is cool for a pillow fort." She said while sitting down. "You have pizza roll ups?!" She asked, pointing to the plate of pizza roll ups.

"Totally! Their was a commercial with people making pizza roll ups. And I magically made them!" I said happily. I heard someone else come in.

"Nudge, Angel?" It was Max.

"Psst, Nudge." I whispered scream. "Do you wanna pelt Max with paper?"

"It would be an honor." Nudge said, crumpling up paper.

"Guys?" I heard Max say. I looked at Nudge and mouthed, one, two, three. We both gave a battle cry and started to throw as much paper as we can. Max yelped with surprise and started to dodge the paper.

"What are you guys doing?!" Max yelled as we still threw our endless supply of paper. Fang walked into the room and stopped with a surprised look on his face.

"GET HIM!" I yelled. So now me and Nudge were throwing paper at Max and Fang. This is fun!

Max and Fang exchanged looks and started to come towards out fort. Nudge and I started to throw paper at rapid speed, but it wasn't enough to stop the wrath of Max and Fang. They both picked up pillows and started to beat us with them. And they say we're the immature ones. I screeched as a pillow hit my face, and kicked at someone leg. Well yea, the person I kicked fell. And that person was Max. I stared at her and started laughing. Of course she started to tickle me.

"AHH!!" I screeched. "GETOFFF!!" I said, my words slurred together. I heard Gazzy and Iggy come in, they had surprised expressions on their face. Max picked me up and stepped over the scattered pillows.

"Umm Gazzy?" I asked. I saw that his mind was filled with…disgusting things.

"Yea?"

"Why are you thinking about fat people in thongs?" Everyone's eyes widened, except for Iggy, and they all stared at Gazzy.

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Ok I know this isn't the funniest chapter I've written. But I had to tell you this. This website isn't letting me update anything! NADA! Every time I try to download a chapter into document manager it keeps saying there's a problem!!!

HELPPPPPP!, and review.

……That is all.


	19. Girls Game Night

**People I have figured out how do download. But Fanfiction is doomed to a life of angry authors. Right now I am piling up ideas for this story. And I must say more than half of my ideas are ridiculously random. If you guys have any extremely random/funny ideas just send them over my wayyy!**

**Me: Claimer!**

**Iggy: Ummm it's DISclaimer.**

**Me: Oh, I know. I was just getting bored with the same stuff.**

**Iggy: But you don't claim anything.**

**Me: That's what you think. James Patterson may claim you now, but I claim your future!**

**Iggy: *calls police***

**Me: Whoa! Technology!**

**Iggy: *face-palm* Just read the chapter!**

* * *

**_Flock Madness_**

**_Girls Game Night_**

**_Max POV_**

This is one of the worst ideas I have ever came up with. And trust me, I come up with some crappy ideas. The girls were sitting at the table, ready for a girls game night, and the guys were playing their own game. I grabbed the box Scattergories. I don't know how they came up with this name, but apparently this was a fun game, according to Nudge.

"Ok" Nudge said, passing out paper and pencils. "We are on list 13." List? Oh the list of random things that you had to state. Nudge rolled the die, it landed on the letter C.

"For each number there is a thing you have to name that starts with a letter C." Nudge explained. "Ok GO!" She started the timer.

I cant believe I'm actually doing this. Ok number 1, Things you can tie in a knot. What the crap? Hmm can you tie crap into a knot? Corn? Crown? I was getting nowhere by just listing C words. I write down crap.

Number 2, Things that are soft. Well darn, crap would have been perfect for this! I looked around the room and spotted…a couch! And it starts with a C! I write down couch.

Number 3, Things in a SCI-FI movie. I don't really watch SCI-FI stuff, so I just write down creepy people.

Number 4, Words with four different vowels. Vowels? Is that like A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y. Poor Y. I skipped this problem and went onto the next.

Number 5, Things that kids play with. Crap could work with this one too, so could corn. Hmm, ok what do normal kids play with? They like to color…right? I write down crayons.

Number 6, Things at a wedding. Man, crap goes with all these questions! Wedding, weddingggg. People eat cake there! I write down cake.

Number 7, Hot places. Ok, Colorado isn't hot…but California is! I write down California.

Number 8, Things in outer space. Space crap? How should I know what's in space! I skip this one.

Number 9, Sounds. Calling? That's a sound right? I write down calling.

Number 10, (there are a lot of questions!) Things at dinner. If I make dinner then it is crap. I write down Coke.

Number 11, Famous singers. Yea, I don't know famous people…so I skip this one.

Number 12, Things at an amusement park. Crap? Nahhh. Crud? Cotton Candy? Ahha! That works.

The timer went off. Nudge and Angel looked up from their writing.

"I now hate C words." Angel said, pushing aside her pencil.

"Amen!" I said.

"Ok, what did everyone have for the first one?" Nudge asked.

"I had contracts!" Angel said. I gave her a weird look. "What? If you roll it up then you can tie it in a knot!" Ehhh, true. Angel got a point for that.

"I had camping string!" Nudge said. Hmmm, that was a good one. She got a point.

"Yea, uhhh, I put down crap." I said, feeling stupid. So, I didn't get a point for creativity.

"What did everyone have for 'things that are soft'?" Nudge asked.

"Cushion!" Angel yelled happily. She got a point

"I had couch!" Nudge said.

"Nudge you took mine!" I said, pointing a finger at Nudge. "How could you?!"

"Darn Max! Neither of us get a point!" She said that like its my fault we think alike. "Number 3, things in a SCI-FI movie?"

Angel shook her head, meaning she didn't have anything for that. Nudge looked at her paper.

"Uhhh, I had creepers." Nudge said. Hey, there are creepers.

"I agree with Nudge." I said. "I put down creepy people." We both got points for being awesome.

"Number 4, Thing with four different vowels." Angel said. " I had nothing!"

I shook my head and so did Nudge. Well it seems when it comes to vowels the flock fails epically.

"Number 5, things that kids play with." I said, looking at Nudge and Angel.

"Does Celeste count?" Angel asked.

"Sure sweetie." I said, and Angel got a point.

"I put down cocaine!" Nudge said. My jaw dropped.

"WHAT?!" I screeched. "Kids do not play with cocaine." Nudge gave me a look. "Ok maybe they do, but that doesn't mean you should have written it down." I was forced to give Nudge a point.

"Unlike Nudge I actually down something that makes sense! I put down crayons." I got my well deserved point.

"Number 6, Things at a wedding." Nudge said.

"I put down cake." Angel said.

"Man, Angel!" Nudge said. "I thought cake was original!?"

"Well apparently it isn't, because I put down cake too." None of us got points.

We may be creative, but that doesn't mean we're original. I picked up the list and stated the next problem.

"Hot places?"

"I had Cancun." Angel said. Hmm, I didn't know she knew about Cancun.

"I put down…Caribbean." Nudge said, looking proud of herself.

"I have California." We all got points.

"Way to be original Max." Nudge said. "The United States is soooo boring!"

"Hey, as long as I get my point I'm fine with not being original." I stated, tapping my pencil against my cheek.

"Number 8, Things in outer space." Angel said. "I had comet." Well that was a good one. Nudge and I had no answer for this one. Angel was the only one who got a point.

"Number 9, Sounds." Nudge said. "I put down crashing." This child is just violent!

"I had crying." Angel said. Depressing much?

"I, on the other hand, had calling." I said, happy that we all got points.

"Ok, number 10, things at dinner." Nudge said.

"I put down crap." Angel said. Whoa wait a second crap? "Yea, crap. There's crap when Max makes dinner."

"Oh, ha-ha you are hilarious Angel!" I said sarcastically. Nudge was laughing so much that she was crying. But she still got a point.

"I had coke." I said, giving Angel another death glare.

"I had cheese!" Nudge said happily, still laughing at Angel's 'crap' joke. We all got points.

"OK! Stop laughing!" I said. "Number 11, Famous singers. I had nothing for this one."

"I had Carry Underwood." Angel said. Oh yes, the oh so famous country singer.

"I put down…Cascada." Nudge said. Should I know who that is? I feel so 'un-hip'.

"Number 12, Things at an amusement park." Angel said. "I had clowns." I hate clowns with a passion.

"I had carousel." Nudge said. Good answer.

"I had cotton candy." I said. We all got points.

"I WIN!!" Angel said. God, I hate losing!

"Let's play again!" Nudge said.

"NO!" Angel and I both said.

"Fine." Nudge said, walking out of the room.

This is one of the weirdest games I have ever played. But it did teach me a lot about what Angel and Nudge think about…like cocaine. Seriously cocaine! That was just disturbing. I walked out of the room and went to see how the guys were doing with their game.

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TO BE CONTINUED….

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This was loooooong. I love this game though…even though I lose every time. Sad I know. Review people!


	20. Guys Game Night

**Hello people! Sorry I haven't updated in like FOREVER! But things are going crappy for me! AHHH! I may of BLOOD POISIONING! My poor white blood cells! *faints***

**Iggy: Holy crap she fainted!**

**Me: Yea I did! FEEL SORRY!**

**Iggy: Wait how can you talk if you fainted?**

**Me: How would you know I'm talking?**

**Iggy: I'm blind…not deaf.**

**Me: eh, tomato tomato…its not the same when you write it…**

**Iggy: SHE DOSENT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE! *runs for life***

**Me: *GASP* he left me! While your at it get me some white blood cells! CHAPTER!**

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**_Flock Madness_**

**_Guys Game Night_**

**_Fang POV_**

Max proposed that we should spend more time together. Guys with guys, girls with girls. I am sitting on the nice carpeted ground, getting ready to play a game called "The Thing Game". Gazzy and Iggy sat on either side of me.

"Ok, so you play this game by writing down what you think." Gazzy said, reading the box.

"It's also a very sick game." Iggy added happily. I sighed and grabbed a pencil.

"Fist one, what would you say to the president right now?" Gazzy said.

I grabbed a pencil and started to think about what I would say to Mr. Prez. Hmmmm. Well, I'm not a huge fan of the president of the united states. I wrote down "Stop screwing our country." I gave Gazzy the paper.

"Everyone finished writing?" Gazzy asked. Me and Iggy nodded.

"Ok, someone said 'stop screwing our country.", "Why do you wear pants, you've got nothing under them." and "You suck man!" Gazzy said. I stifled a laugh. "Iggy now you guess who said what."

"I think Gazzy said the thing about the screwing and Fang said he sucks." Iggy said confidently.

"Nope! You don't get any points!" Gazzy said happily. Iggy pouted.

So far this game was weird and sick. I read some of the cards that told us what to say….and they were sick!

"Ok next one!" Gazzy started. "What shouldn't be lumpy?" Oh crap…ew. Iggy has a sick mind.

I thought for a second. Ok, lumpy. I have a few sick thoughts about the word lumpy. But I decided to play it safe and say something not as sick. I wrote down a mattress.

"Iggy you guess." Gazzy said. I nodded.

"Alright, 'Boobs', 'Grandma's' and 'Mattresses'." Gazzy finished.

"Fang had mattress and Gazzy had grandma's." Iggy said.

"Awww how did you know?!" Gazzy said.

"Fang would never say grandma's! And besides he doesn't want to take a risk." Iggy said.

"What? I can take risks." I stated.

"Sure…" Gazzy said. "Ok, Who would you not want to meet?"

So, apparently I need to take risks…so I need to put down something sick. Who wouldn't I want to meet? Well, If I wouldn't want to meet a hooker who clearly has AIDS….I wrote that down.

"I'll read for Iggy, and Fang you guess." Gazzy said.

"Ok, there's 'Oprah Winifry', 'Hooker's who clearly have AIDS' , and 'Women with small boobs'." Gazzy finished.

"Gazzy had Oprah and Iggy had the boobs one." I said. I saw Iggy smile at what we wrote.

"Right, ok you get points." Iggy said.

"The next one is, What would be the grossest thing to see?" Gazzy said.

Hmmm, gross. Hooker's who clearly have AIDS would work, and seeing Iggy in 20 years. I wrote down the Iggy one.

"I'll read." I said. "'Iggy in 20 years', 'Fat people in thongs.', 'Old people have sex.'" I cringed at the last one. "Ok I'm out! This game is sick!"

I stood up and started to walk out of the room. I heard Iggy say "Do you think Max wears a thong?" to Gazzy. I didn't cringe too much at that image. But the old people having sex set me off. That's just…not normal. People shouldn't be thinking about that!

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Sorry it's kinda boring. I don't have much time to write anymore! AHHH! R&R


	21. Me and Max, and the rest of the Flock!

**Aw, Claire is sad. She was just told that she sucks at writing fan fiction. Can you see the fake tears running down my cheeks? Oh weeeeell! I guess I'll just have to keep writing suckish fan fiction!**

**Me: Iggy can you give me the disclaimer of my suckish fan fiction story?**

**Iggy: Aw, you suck?**

**Me: APPERANTLY! You don't mind though…right? Because you suck too…according to the prophecy.**

**Iggy: Thank you! My suckish friend here does not own Maximum Ride.**

**Me: YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON THAT LOVES ME! *sobs* STORYYY TIME!**

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**_Flock Madness_**

**_Random Drabble_**

**_Me and Max, and eventually the rest of the flock!_**

Me: HELLOOOO! I felt lonely, so I decided to put me in this chapter!

Max: Your pathetic…

Me: I created you….

Max: Well, I destroyed you…

Me: OH NO YOU DIDN'T! *snaps fingers in a girlish fashion*

Max: Ew, girl snapping! *runs around in circles*

Me: OMG! My shoes are so comfy…it feels like I'm walking on…JESUS!

Max: Oh great! She's talking about shoes now!

Me: *stomps feet on ground* JESUSSSSS!!!

Max: *whispers to Flock* she just stomped on Jesus.

Me: I'M WALKIN ON JESUS! WHOAAA OHHHHH! *I sing*

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Me: WE ARE GOING ON AN ADVENTURE!

Fang: No.

Me: Pleaseeeeee!

Fang: No.

Me: MAXXXX! Fang wont let us go on an adventure.

Max: Where did you wanna go?

Me: Uh, the place where they invented cheese!

Angel: Wisconsin?

Me: NO! That person from Sonny With A Chance came from there!

Nudge: I LIKE DISNEYYY!

Me: I'm sure if Walt Disney watched it now he would cry…

Max: Yeah! That one dude from Hannah Montana is, like, 30 years-old!

Fang: He probably molests children…

Me: You would know wouldn't you?

Max: My Fangy-poo molests children?!?!

Angel: *Screams and runs away in terror*

Fang: Ugh NO. I don't enjoy children that way!

Me: Or do you? Do you Fang?

Max: O_o

Fang: I LOVE YOU MAXXX!

Me: I feel like a third wheel, come on Angel. Let us go.

Angel: Fine with me!

Max&Fang: I RUN TO YOU BABY! *They sing*

**[Song: I Run To You by Lady Antebellum]**

Nudge&Me: DON'T TRUST A HOE, NEVER TRUST HOW! *we sing*

Iggy: CUZZ A HOE WONT TRUST MEEEE! *singing*

Nudge&Me: O.o HOLY CRAPP!

Me: And why wont this said hoe trust you?

Iggy: Uh, because I'm me?

Me: YOU'RE A HOOKER WITH AIDS!!

Nudge: I KNEW IT!

Iggy: What?! NOOOO! I've only been to a strip bar once!

Me: Only once?

Nudge: He probably lived there. *she whispers to me*

Iggy: I can hear you…

Me: You what would really be creepy? A hooker grandma on the streets of New York!

Nudge: Why would a grandma feel the need to be a hooker?

Me: Because people get lonely…and they want a little too much fun in their lives.

Iggy: My grandma was probably like that…

Nudge&Me: O_o

**[Song: Don't trust a hoe by 30H!3]**

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Me: Gazzy! For the last time! Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana are two different people!

Gazzy: Ew, you serious?

Me: YES!

Gazzy: But why isn't Miley famous but Hannah is?

Me: She's only famous when she puts on the wig!

Gazzy: So this Miley person is a loser to society…?

Me: Yes, yes she is. She needs to fall off The Climb…

Gazzy: IT'S THE CLIIIIIIIMMMMMMMBBBBB! *sings*

Me: *tear* You sounded exactly like Hannah/Miley! I'M SOOO PROUD! *huggles*

Gazzy: YAY! I have a job of being a Hannah/Miley impersonator!

Me: YAY! You have a purpose in life!

**[Song: The Climb by Miley Cyrus…grrrr]**

* * *

Me: DOE A DEER I WANT SOME BEER!

Max: Isn't it a female deer?

Angel: Sound of Music?

Max: Apparently…

Me: RAY, THE GUY WHO SERVED MY BEER!

Angel: Beer? Isn't that illegal for people of ages 20 and younger?

Me: Well, I'm 100.5! WHAT NOWWW!

Max: So you'll die at any second….?

Me: No! ME, YES ME! I WANT SOME BEER!

Angel: Beer will kill you brain….

Max: I think her brain is already dead…

Me: FARRRRR, A LOOONG WAY TO THE JOHNNNNNN! (john being toilet)

Iggy: I like this song!

Max: YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU?

Angel: She's gonna get you!

Me: SO, I WANT ANOTHER BEER!

Max: How long do you think this could go on for? *whispers to Angel*

Me: LONG, LONGER LOOONGER BEER!

Angel: I'm thinking of knocking her out.

Max: I'll get the bat. *runs to get medieval bat*

Me: TEA, NO THANKS I WANT SOME BEER!

Max: *tries to hit Claire with bat*

Me: BA HAHAHA! *flies away on Unicorn*

Angel: I knew she had a unicorn…

Max: O_o

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I was really bored….and I wanted to do something like this! Review pleaseeeee!


	22. Let the Game Begin Part 1

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Haha Hiya! How is everyone out there? Good? Well I'm just fine thank you. I have to thank you all for reviewing! But I go my favorite reviews from the last chapter.

~NightHawk21-Yea, I know it had nothing to do with the story :] You are a awesome reviewer!

~FangPlusMeEqualsNinja- Awesome long name. Thanks for thinking that chapter was awesome!

~MaxandFang101- Thanks you sooo much! I'm glad that chapter made you laugh! *GASP* I hope you got a good grade on your test!

~Jfeisgs- Haha! This is one of my favorite reviews! No, I'm not COMPLETELY mental. And you ask, 'What goes through your mind when you write this stuff?' Well a lot of these chapters are stuff me and my friends do. Or I space out for a looong time and magically come up with a chapter! Thanks for reviewing!

Me- May I have my disclaimer?

Iggy- No.

Me- ….you did not just say no to me!

Iggy- Oh, but I did.

Me- *death glare* I'm giving you an evil death glare worthy of Hitler!

Iggy- *GASP* You don't own Maximum Ride….we don't support Hitler.

Me- THANK YOU! Storyyyy!

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Flock Madness

Let the Game Begin Part 1

Max POV

"Max, I wanna play ultimate assassin." Angel said sternly.

Yes, a little 6 or 7 year old trying to tell me what to do. Welcome to my life! I sat down on the couch and looked at Angel, who was trying to give me her cutest face.

"What's that?" I asked. I don't really know 'cool games' to play.

"A game where we shoot each other! Like assassins!" She said happily, clapping her hands together.

Assassins? Our life is already like that, so why do we need to pretend to kill each other? Beats me.

"Angel, don't you think that's kinda violent?" I asked her, using that tone of voice you use with little kids.

"Maxxxx!" She whined. "It's a fun game! And we use nurf guns, that have Styrofoam bullets." She replied.

"Yea Max!" I heard Gazzy say as he walked over. "It sounds funnn!" they both started to give me bambi eyes. Darn these kids.

"Um, We don't have nurf guns." I said, looking for other excuses.

"Oh but we do." They replied at the same time. They both magically had nurf guns in their hands.

"Where they heck did you get them from?!" I yelled, looking at their nurf guns.

"We've always had them!" They said. I gave them a confused look, but decided to let it go.

"Ok fine. Call everyone in and give them a nurf gun." I said, defeated.

Angel handed me a weird looking gun. These things were odd. I grabbed a Velcro bullet and place it in the gun thing and shot it towards the wall. Eh, it went fast enough that none of the Flock could dodge it easily. The Flock came pouring into the living room. Angel started explaining the game and Gazzy handed out the guns and vests. The vests were if we got shot then the bullet would stick to us.

"This isn't fair for the blind guy!" Iggy said, trying to figure out his gun. He just ended up shooting himself.

"Well, not all of us have super hearing, and bomb skills and other st-" Nudge was cut off by Gazzy putting his hand over her mouth.

"As you can tell some of us have more advantages over others." I said looking at Fang with his invisibility and Angel with her mind reading and controlling powers.

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"But we can still us them…right? Angel said in my mind.

"Fine, you can read minds. But you CANT control them…that's cheating." I told her.

Angel smiled sweetly at me.

"Ok, you guys ready?" Gazzy asked. His smile covering his whole face.

"Yea." Fang said quietly.

"Alright, we can us the whole hotel. Because the rooms not big enough." Angel explained. "When the time is 3 o'clock than we start."

I looked at the clock and right now it was 2:48. So that gives me…12 minuets to find a kick-butt hiding place that will be able to hide me but good enough to be able to shot other people. I looked around me and realized the Flock had already left to find their hiding places…wow, how can I be that unobservant? Oh well.

I left the hotel room and walked down the hallway, thinking about what where I could possibly hide. You would think it would be easy to hide in a hotel…but trust me its not. There was nothing to hide behind, unless I broke into someone room and hid there.

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"GO!" I heard Angel's voice say in my head.

Let the games begin

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TO BE CONTINUED….

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**Part one is now done! You guys** **excited**** that Fang (the book) is almost out?! Review my friends!**


	23. Part 2

Hey Guys! Did you like the chapter? Did ya, did ya? Do you think I ask to many questions? Huh? Your not answering my very well written question!

Iggy: Maybe if you shut up they would…

Me: Oh Iggy. My poor, poor blind bird-brother. OMG you're my B.B.B!

Iggy: Please don't tell me that stand for blind bird-brother…

Me: Oh, but it does…

Iggy: *prays* Pleaseee let me die.

Me: I DON'T OWN MAXIMUM RIDE!

Iggy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I thought I was the disclaimer dude.

Me: Well, you were to slow…STORY!

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BEFORE!

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"GO!" I heard Angel's voice say in my head.

Let the games begin.

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Flock Madness

Part 2

Max POV

Crap, crap, crap, crap. Where to hide? I have no idea! Hey, wait is that a snack bar? No Max I thought to myself. Of course I was right. I couldn't possibly eat at a time like this! But that doesn't I cant hide in the snack bar. I ran and jumped over the counter, like a skillful ninja, and hid behind it. I heard people walking by, but it wasn't anyone that could shoot me with a nurf gun.

Then, I heard someone running down the hallway, cackling maniacally…like an idiot. I immediately knew it was Gazzy. I peeked over the counter seeing Gazzy with is gun in the air and whooping like…an idiot, as I said before. I raised my gun slowly, taking aim. Gazzy eyes met mine and his smile disappeared. He started to run down the hallway, but he was no match against my nurf gun. I shot a single bullet and it hit him in the back. I was surprised when he fell down. I stood up and walked over to him.

"Air!" Gazzy said, clutching his stomach. Pretending to actually be shot.

"Dead." I said, pointing the gun to his head.

"Fine, I'm dead." Gazzy pouted.

"Did you get anyone?"

"Yea, I got Iggy. Which was somewhat easy." He said. So that's why he was acting like an idiot.

"Where did he hide?" I was curious…

"In the kitchen. I knew he would go there." Gazzy replied.

"Have you seen anyone else?"

"I can't say!" He said. And with that I pointed my nurf gun to his head.

"Ok, ok I'll talk! I saw Nudge running into the lobby! That's all I know!" Gazzy shouted.

"Fine, but get back to the room.." I said, leaving Gazzy there and walking towards the lobby, hoping I could find and shoot Nudge.

I realized I was turning into a very violent person. Eh, oh well. It seems I was always like that. I arrived at the fancy lobby, that was a little too fancy. I would enjoy breaking all these glass mirrors than escape to a different hotel. But, I had a mission. A mission to destroy Nudge, Angel and Fang.

Suddenly, everything was turned upset down. And I was completely disoriented, and in a net. Why the hell am I in a net? And how did a net get here?! I was suspended in a net that was closer to the ceiling then the floor. This had a member of the Flock written all over it. I shifted into a comfortable position and looked around me. Hoping that there was no nurf guns pointing in my direction.

"Whoa, how'd you get in a net?" A voice said. I looked below me and saw that the voice belonged to Nudge.

"Oh, so you didn't trap me in this thing?" I asked, gesturing towards the net.

"No, but that is a good idea! Do you think Fang or Angel did it? Or maybe Iggy or Ga-" Nudge was interrupted by the sound my angry grunt.

"Help me down."

"Sorry, cant do that." Nudge said, starting to walk away.

"Wait!" She faced me. "Why!?"

"We're playing an assassin game Max. No assassin would let you lo-" Nudge was cut off once again, but not by me. She was cut off by getting shot with a nurf bullet.

"AHHHHH!" Nudge yelled, falling towards the ground in dramatic pain.

"Nice net…" I heard the voice of Fang say, as he came into view.

"Nice shot…" I replied.

Fang walking under me, looking up into my face. He started to laugh hysterically at how I was stuck…in a net. And I didn't find it too humorous!

"DON'T LAUGH!" I yelled, trying to shot him.

"Nice try…" He said, pointing his gun at me.

"Hey, hey!" I said quickly. "We are a couple. And couples don't shoot each other!"

"Well, if that couple was an assassin than he would shoot." He replied. Shooting me with a bullet. "You are now officially out of the game." I looked at him angrily. "Sor-" He started to say but was cut off.

A nurf bullet came soaring in the air, from behind a pillar, and hit Fang right in the back of the head. He gasped in surprised and looked around, trying to find out who shot him.

"Hi guys." An angelic voice said from behind the pillar. Angel, of course.

Nudge, Iggy, and Gazzy came into the lobby. They were probably told to come here by Angel's message sending powers.

"How?" Fang asked, looking intently at Angel.

"It's all about patience." Angel said. "I didn't go all gung-ho abut finding and shooting people. I waited and watched." She smiled…angelically.

"Ok, well who set up this freakin trap?!" I said angrily.

"Oh, that was also me…" Angel replied.

"Angel is the ultimate assassin!" Gazzy said. Angel…an assassin…ironic much?

"GET ME DOWN FORM HERE!!"

"Yes ma'am!" Iggy hollered, releasing the net. Which sent me falling towards the ground.

Is it fun falling unexpectedly? No, not really. And I'm also still tangled in the net that Angel set….I have to remember to get back at her for this. But, thank god for our bird-kid fast reflexes. Fang caught me in his arms before I could hit the ground. I blushed and jumped out of his arms.

"Well, this was fun…" I said. Everyone laughing at me. "Ok, shut up and get back to our room!" I demanded.

Just because I wasn't the ultimate assassin doesn't mean I'm not scary!

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OMG FANG IS COMING OUTTTT!!! Review please? Yes?


	24. Iggy's Wrath

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Sorry I haven't written anything in a while, but I have a good excuse! Soccer just started and I have been outside 24/7. And I am dead tired, more dead than tired though.

I felt like doing a St. Patrick's Day chapter. Yes, yes I know I'm a little late with updating it but I still wanted it! AND FANG WAS AMAZING! I read it, and it was awesome yet disappointing. I was hoping for more…

Me: I need my disclaimer…

Iggy: Oh, so your back now…huh?

Me: I'M SORRY!!!

Iggy: Where have you been?!

Me: Dieing…and running a lot.

Iggy: O.o cool.

Me: Disclaimer then?

Iggy: Fine, she doesn't own Maximum Ride, or St. Patrick's Day.

Me: Hmm, I wonder if St. Patrick own St. Patrick's Day….?

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Flock Madness

Iggy's Wrath

MaxPOV

Happy March 17th! Or, as it's known as, St. Patrick's Day. How did I know it was St. Patty's Day? Because Gazzy came out of his room drowning in the color green. I looked at him strangely, and he looked at me shocked.

"Where's the green?!" He shouted.

"Um, outside?" I said, looking out the window at the grass.

Nudge and Angel ran out of their rooms laughing happily. Nudge was wearing a green shirt with skinny jeans and Angel was wearing a green dress that had shamrocks on it. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw me wearing a gray hoodie and blue jeans.

"Max?!" Nudge shouted. " Gazzy what's wrong with her?!"

"I don't know! She is so not a patriot!" Gazzy shouted.

"Why do I have to wear green?!" I yelled/asked. They all looked at each other.

"Max, you know Iggy is very serious about holidays." Angel said calmly. "Especially if they involve color."

Just then Fang walked into the living room, wearing green. What the heck?! He never wears colors! So why the crap is a wearing green?! His eyes widened when he saw me.

"Max," He said quietly. "what are you wearing?"

"Clothes!" I said angrily.

"Where's Iggy?" Nudge asked.

"He's still in his room, thank god." Fang said, straightening his green shirt.

I looked over at Angel and Gazzy, who were hanging up green decorations everywhere. It was like they were a part of some weird green cult. I walked over to them.

"What's up with the pot of gold Gazzy?" I asked.

"I'm hoping a leprechaun will come!" He said happily. I looked at him, concerned about his sanity.

"The only thing close enough to a leprechaun is Angel and her shortness." Fang said, taping a four leaf clover on the wall. Angel looked angrily at Fang.

"Don't make me do mind voodoo on your brain!" She shouted, pointing a finger at Fang…who actually looked afraid.

"Ok guys, why are you doing all of this?" I asked, extremely confused.

"Because Iggy will be out soon." Nudge said.

"But he cant even see!" I protested.

"Obviously." Nudge commented. "But he can feel colors, and he gets angry when people aren't in the holiday spirit."

Just then Iggy walked in, wearing all green. He walked over to the wall, put a hand on it, and smiled. He was clearly happy that there was green covering the wall.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day Iggy!" Gazzy said, he sounded almost nervous.

"Ditto!" Iggy said, putting a hand on Gazzy and Angel. He smiled then moved onto Fang and Nudge, then me. He put a hand on my shoulder and frowned.

"Max, why aren't you wearing green?" He asked, his voice sounded almost dangerous.

"Um, because I wanted to wear this." I said, gesturing to my outfit.

"You do know what we do to people on St. Patrick's Day when they don't wear green?" He asked.

"Uh, you pat them on the back and say try again next year?" I guessed.

"Nope!" He said, and he started pinching me.

"OW!" I shouted, swatting away his hand. "STOP!" I shouted, and ran away from Iggy.

"Sorry, but you didn't follow the rules of the day!" Iggy shouted, running after me.

I started to run faster around the room and shouting "AHHHHHH!" all the way, but the odds were against me. Running away from someone with super sonic hearing and running around a small room will get you caught. Iggy tackled me to the ground and continued to pinch me over and over and over….you know the rest.

"We warned you." Fang smirked.

"Happy St. Patrick's Day Max!" Angel sang.

Just perfect…

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Again, sorry I was a little late in updating this…SORRY


	25. Easter Fools?

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Hey guys! Sorry I haven't written anything in a while. I'm running out of ideas. So I'll probably only write for this story when I'm really bored! Also soccer takes a lot out of a person. I feel dead!

Also happy Easter to all and to all the people getting fat because of candy.

Me: Disclaimer. Iggy. Now!

Iggy: Demanding overlord!

Me: Exactly, so you better bow down to my awesome power!

Iggy: *flips the bird*

Me: *GASP* haha, I get it! Flipping the bird…and your half bird…

Iggy: AHHH! YOU DON'T OWN ME!!

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Flock Madness

Easter Fools?

My POV (I'm telling what's happening!)

We arrive to see the Flock sitting around the table painting Easter eggs, like a good little Flock. Only a few days after April Fools and the day before all holy Easter. Little white bunnies hop around outside, waiting to break into your home and leave random eggs that will eventually go bad and stink up your house.

"This is as good as Picasso!" Angel said, showing her crud looking egg to everyone.

"Is that a weasel?" Gazzy asked, squinting at the egg.

"No, its an angel…I think." Angel guessed. "Or maybe I drew the Easter bunny?"

"I'M TERRIFIED OF THE EASTER BUNNY!!" Gazzy screamed running out of the room. His egg wasn't finished.

The Flock looked weirdly at Gazzy as he ran at full speed. And he looked even more stupid when he tripped over a stuffed animal bunny, which made him scream even more. Oh the joys of the holidays!

"I feel a strong urge to get an Easter Bunny suit…." Iggy said, dialing the phone. He was calling the costume factory. And how does he know the number by memory? Beats me…

"Why must by you torment the poor kid?" Max asked, dipping her brush into the paint.

"It's my job Ma- Oh hello!" Iggy was interrupted when the women on the phone started talking to him. "Yes, yes I want a Easter Bunny costume. No I don't if it's really puffy! Just _get one here!"_ Iggy practically screamed into the phone as he walked out of the room and into his bedroom.

The rest of the Flock looked at each other. Sending each other a silent message that everyone else has gone mad and that they were the only normal one's in the entire continental U.S.A. Nudge bit her lip as she started drawing lines on her egg.

"Why isn't she talking?" Fang asked, painting his fifth egg black. Wow, its so Eastery. Angel's face scrunched up in concentration.

"Apparently she's going on a silent streak." Angel said, reading her mind.

"Why?"

"No, no wait." Angel's face scrunched up again, her eyes widened. "She's gone mute!" Max and Fang looked confused.

Max got up and walked over to Nudge. "How is that possible?" She asked.

"She thinks it's because she talks to much." Angel said.

"Not surprised." Fang muttered. He was on his sixth black egg.

Maxes face was a mask of worry, but she sat down and continued to enjoy her day of painting eggs.

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THE NEXT DAY

Happy Easter to all! The Flock is happily skipping over to their over flowing Easter baskets. They are filled with to much sugar than a bird-kid should have. Even Fang was enjoying skipping! But Iggy was no where in sight. I wonder what will happen?

**[Insert sarcasm]**

"OMG CANDYYYY!!" Angel screamed, practically swallowing her basket whole. Nudge looked excited but still didn't make a sound.

"Max," Gazzy said. "the Easter Bunny is gone…right?"

"Yes Gazzy. The Easter Bunny has gone bye bye." Max said it as if she were talking to a 4 year-old.

Fang was opening his Easter basket, which was filled with colorful Easter candy. He looked disgusted with their ugly pastel color and moved onto his black candy. I didn't even know they made black candy. Fang then took a bottle out of his basket, a bottle of black nail polish! Aw, pretty!

"What the heck?!" Fang screeched, holding the nail polish in his hands.

"Hey, it's better than the black eye liner we were about to get you!" Max said sternly. Fang looked angry, but he went back to his pretty pastel colored basket.

Suddenly the door burst open! Revealing a white puffy Easter Bunny! I'm guessing Iggy was in the costume. The Bunny hopped into the room and stared right at Gazzy, who looked like he just crapped his pants. Gazzy stood up, dusted off his pants, and started screaming as he ran out of the room in complete terror.

The Bunny ran after him saying "I ONLY WANT TO HUG YOU!!!" That's what they all say…

"Was that Iggy?" Nudge asked. Everyone, but Angel, stared at Nudge.

"I thought you couldn't speak?!" Max yelled.

Nudge smiled. "April Fools!" Maxes face turned red.

"ITS NOT EVEN APRIL FOOLS!"

"I know!" Nudge said, sounding happy. "That's the best part of the prank!"

Just then Iggy walked into the room, eating a healthy apple. Yay for healthiness! This time everyone in the room stared at Iggy. Their jaws hit the ground in utter shock.

"Um, Iggy." Max said cautiously. "Weren't you in the Easter Bunny costume?"

"What?" Iggy asked, surprised.

"Didn't you get the costume?" She asked again.

"Oh, no. It was too much money." Iggy said, sitting down on the couch.

Angel, Max, Fang, and Nudge stared at the door Gazzy and the Easter Bunny ran through.

"Oh my God!" Max said.

And so it looks like you should never trust anyone that comes to your house dressed as the Easter Bunny. Because you never know who they truly might be. This is a lesson to all, showing you that holidays should be enjoyed but also feared.

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Thanks for reading! I know this is chapter is…strange. But I couldn't come up with anything else! Happy Easter everyone! Review if you so desire.


	26. Rubiks Hell and Yo Mama

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Hello people. You surprised? I actually updated fast! It's a beautiful day outside, and I'm inside writing because I'm too lazy to get up and ride my bike. Ha-ha, I'm such a fatty. (Just saying, I'm not really fat. I weigh like 100lbs and I'm 14 years old. Apparently people think I'm anorexic ha-ha!) But I had my Easter today(Even though it's Saturday) and I got BOOKS! So I'm happy!

Me: Disclaimer?

Iggy: Why the long face?

Me: IS THAT A FAT JOKE?!?!

Iggy: Oh crap, NO IT WASEN'T!

Me: See even the people closet to me call me fat!! *sobs*

Iggy: …I'm not close to you…

Me: Oh, so now you have to lie?!

Iggy: Dear Jesus! YOU DON'T OWN!

Me: Thank you! :D Chapter….

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Flock Madness

Rubiks Hell and Yo mama!

Gazzy POV

I find myself wandering aimlessly through the hotel room, bored outta my mind. Absolutely nothing to do. I hear pounding coming from my bedroom that I share with Iggy. I walk into my room to find Iggy sitting on the bed, pounding a rubiks cube against the wall.

"What the heck?" I said.

"I HATE THIS THING!!" He shouted, slamming the cube down again.

"Iggy, you know your blind…" I said uncertainly.

"Yes, yes but the I can still feel colors!" He shouted. "BUT THEY WONT GO IN THE RIGHT ORDER!"

"Ig, those things are for geniuses…" And Iggy was certainly not a genius.

"And I have a big brain!" He yelled. Oh, so that's why he has a big head.

"Here, let me try." I said, taking the cube in my hand.

Ok so there was a red cube. Ok, ok I turned the cube so that it was next to another red cube. Then another, but then I couldn't get one red cube next to the other red cube. And right now my brain was starting to hurt because I'm guessing my brain isn't as "large" as Iggy's. I tried to turn the cube again in a random order, but I messed up all my hard work.

"AHHHHHHHHH!!" I screamed, slamming the cube against the wall in frustration.

"Not so easy is it now?" Iggy said, his smile reached his eyes.

"Go fall down a well." I said angrily.

"Go die in a hole!"

"Go fall in a ditch!"

"GO DRWON IN A CREEK!" Iggy said.

"GO GET KILLED BY YOUR MOTHER!"

"GO HAVE SEX WITH A HOOKER, THEN GET AIDS, THEN DIE FROM THAT!" Whoa…

"I'm 8 years old Iggy. I've never met a hooker, aside from you." I said, happy for insulting Iggy.

Iggy's face turned red as he tackled me to the ground. I started a girl slap face with Iggy, and he did the same thing. So we were just sitting on the floor, having a slap fight. Wow, we're manly!

Iggy's face turned red as he tackled me to the ground. I started a girl slap face with Iggy, and he did the same thing. So we were just sitting on the floor, having a slap fight. Wow, we're manly!

"Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for then new world!" I said.

"Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy!" Iggy said back.

"Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized!"

"Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock!" Iggy yelled.

Just then Max walks into the room. She was probably curious why there was so much yelling and noise. Lovely.

"What is this? A fight to figure out which on of you is more stupid?" Max said, shocked at our fight.

"Max, Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!" Iggy yelled, but then his smile faltered as he saw Maxes face.

"Iggy." I whispered. "She knows who her mom is!"

"IGGY!" Max hissed. "Did. You. Just. Insult. My. Mother!"

"Oh shit." Iggy whispered. "Um, not I didn't. It was a joke!"

I saw Max close her eyes as she counted to ten. She was trying to get her anger under control. You know, we should probably send her to anger management. She could really use it.

"Ok, I'm calm." Max said, taking a deep breath. "What are you guys doing anyway?" She asked.

"Paying with a rubiks cube, or trying to." I said sadly, looking at the forgotten cube.

"You guys suck. Your not smart enough to do that!" She yelled, walking angrily from the room. Iggy and I were looking at the door, shocked that we were called stupid. Well, we weren't actually shocked.

"We need to finish this cube." Iggy said, grabbing the cube and feeling the colors.

I looked at the cube, trying to figure out an easier way to get these colors in the right order. I grabbed the cube from Iggy and looked at it closely. The colors were stickers the were placed on a square. Suddenly a light bulb appeared over my head, I had a brilliant idea.

"Why don't we just peal off the stickers and place them in the right order?" I asked, my smile growing. Iggy smiled too.

"Brilliant." He whispered.

So now we sit side by side. Rearranging the colors on this hellish cube. Once we were finished Iggy held up the cube in triumph.

"We succeeded in our quest!" He shouted.

"Let's show Max!" I yelled, running out of the room with Iggy following right behind me with the cube.

Max was sitting comfortably on the couch when we barged in and plopped down heavily on the couch. Causing Max to get uncomfortable. She let out an angry sigh and looked at us.

"What?!" She yelled.

"We finished the cube!" Iggy sang, shoving it in Maxes face. Max looked shocked at first but then she looked closer at the cube and took it from Iggy's hands.

"You cheated didn't you?" She asked.

"What?" Iggy said, looking like he was hurt from that comment. "Why would we do such a thing?"

"Because a certain mind-reader told me." She laughed. Damn…

"Dang Angel…" Iggy hissed to himself.

Max threw the cube at Iggy's head and walked out of the room. Iggy and I looked at each other sadly, then looked sadly at the cube.

"That cube hurt." He said, rubbing his head.

"Well, at least we know we can use it as a weapon."

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I also got a rubiks cube for Easter, and it is torture! Review please! Happy almost Easter!


	27. Iggy's Dare Part 1

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Hiya people. Sorry I haven't written in a while! Again, sorrrryyyy! Some people have been reviewing, asking if I can make a truth or dare chapter. So, I guess I'm doing it…maybe. Oh, and also a lot of you people have sick minds! Most people wanted the dare questions to either be people kissing each other…or Iggy naked…yea sick!

Me: I kinda want my disclaimer right now…

Iggy: Kinda? It doesn't sound like you want it!

Me: Oh, I do. Trust me. But I'm in a pissed off mood at the moment.

Iggy: Aw, vent if you wish!

Me: Mycoachisajackassthatmakesallthefreshmanrunandnottheolderpeople!!

Iggy: That is a tale of woe…

Me: Give me the disclaimer you ignorant baboon!

Iggy: Whoa! Ok you don't own Maximum Ride!

Me: THANK YOU!! GOD!!! Chapter time…

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Flock Madness

Iggy's….DARE!…Part 1

No one's POV

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"WE ARE PLAYING TRUTH OR DARE!" Nudge yelled marching into the room, with Angel at her side like a henchman. Hmm, it fits her well.

"NOOOOO!!!" Gazzy screamed, trying to climb up the wall.

Max glared at Nudge, then Angel, then Gazzy, and then she randomly glared at Iggy just for the pleasure of glaring at him. Fang sat beside Max and glared at Iggy too.

"YOU KNOW I CAN FEEL YOU GLARING!!" Iggy screamed.

"Good, it worked." Max whispered to Fang.

"SIT IN A FREAKIN CIRCLE RIGHT NOW OR I WILL RELEASE MY WRATH!!" Nudge screamed, pointing to the circle of beanbags.

Angel laughed to herself and sat in the pink beanbag, Nudge in the purple, Gazzy in the blue, Iggy in the green, Fang in the….black, Max in the reed. Aren't they predictable?

"Why do we have to play truth or dare?" Gazzy asked in a un-cool manner.

"Because we are the overlords, and you're the under lord." Angel explained. "So we get to decide what we do!"

"Wait," Max said, giving a 'look' to Angel. "I'm an under lord?" Angel's eyes widened in fear.

"Um, you can be the middle lord." She said cleverly, giving Nudge a high-five. Max looked unhappy, but knew she shouldn't fight with a mind reader.

"Ok, we are starting truth or dare. Now." Nudge hissed, looking extremely evil. Gazzy was trying not to laugh.

Nudge shot her gaze at Gazzy. "Gazzy, if you laugh at me again you will find yourself in the middle of Africa without underwear, toothbrush, or any mode of transportation!" Gazzy shrunk farther into his seat, looking terrified.

"Can we start the game yet?" Angel asked quietly, speaking for the first time.

"Or we could all die in a dark depressing abyss…" Fang muttered unhappily from his black beanbag. Isn't he a happy soul?

"Iggy, truth or dare." Max said, taking charge and actually starting the game. He was afraid of Maxes questions, but what did he have to lose…right?

"Dare." He said bravely. Maxes smile grew evil.

She went over to Iggy and whispered in his ear. His smile went lower and lower until his face was a mask of complete shock. He started to cower against his beanbag, stick is thumb in his mouth, and rock back and forth in a fetal position. Max laughed manically, Angel had a face of horror on, and the rest of the Flock looked completely lost. All is normal!

"Fang, get the car." Max said in a low voice.

"Why?" He asked.

"Iggy has something he has to do…" Iggy cried out in utter horror…again.

"Max, what are you going to make him do?!" Nudge said, enjoying how Iggy is so scared.

"Let's just say we'll need a loin clothe, a needle, balloons, 5 pounds of ketchup, and whip cream." Max said.

Angel's smile grew. "Can we bring other embarrassing stuff?"

Max laughed. "Sure! Knock yourself out!" She said. Iggy was still screaming in terror.

The Flock dragged a screaming Iggy to the Flock Mobile, and they were on there way to the place where Iggy most complete his…task. I honestly feel bad for the poor people who will witness this monstrosity.

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Part 2 coming up soon! Thanks for reading! Review please!


	28. Iggy's Dare Part 2

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I'm so sorry that I haven't updated this story in so long! I completely forgot about fan fiction, but I'm starting up again!

Thank you guys for reviewing and tolerating my absence!

Me: Wow, I feel weird writing again.

Iggy: You know what, you suck. You puny mortal!

Me: SEE! This might be why I didn't write! You made me all depressed!

Iggy: Fine. Your amazing. You rock. Your cooler then Miley Cyrus.

Me: EW! MILEY CYRUS SUCKS!

Iggy: You don't own Maximum Ride.

Me: *Sigh* Unfortunately I don't. Story finally!

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Flock Madness

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Iggy's Dare Part 2

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Dare: Currently Unknown

Location: Flock Mobile

POV: No One

"Why are we driving in a car when we have wings?" Fang asked.

The Flock looked at each other.

"Why didn't anyone tell me before we left?" Max screeched, making the car swerved slightly.

"Yup, we're dumb." Iggy replied, trying , once again, to escape the car.

The Flock were on their way to the Nursing Home. Where old people prosper and what not. Everyone, minus Iggy, had their cool ninja outfits on. Rockin' the black. Fang was clearly happy with the outfit arrangements.

"Are you ready Iggy?" Gazzy whispered to his best friend, who was currently shaking in his seat.

"I don't really have a choice here, do I?"

"Nope!" Angel chirped in, clearly enjoying Iggy's pain.

"Poor Iggy." Nudge muttered. The Flock looked at her in shock. This was the shortest sentence she's ever muttered.

They arrived at the Nursing Home. The poor old people didn't know what was coming.

"Ok Iggy, get prepared!" Max shouted. Iggy cowered.

Gazzy pushed Iggy into the forest next to the Nursing Home. They disappeared with only the sounds of Iggy whimpering to tell them where they were located

"You think he'll do it?" Fang whispered to Max. She raised her eyebrows.

"He has no choice." She replied snidely.

Iggy emerged from the forest, with Gazzy tailing behind him with his hands over his eyes. Iggy was completely naked. Butt naked. He had his hands placed…there…so that he had some form of cover up. A deep blush covered his face.

"You only did this because you wanted to see me naked didn't you." Iggy said, staying a good distance between him and the flock.

"Yupp," Max said. Fang's eyes widened. "you know me too well!" Everyone was silent. "I'M JUST KIDDING…gosh!" A sigh of relief came from Fang's mouth.

Max started rummaging through the backpack. Pulling out a bull horn, whip cream, and a camera.

"What do I do with this shit?" Iggy screeched. Gazzy gasped at his vulgar language, while Max glared at him.

"You do as I tell you." Max said with a hint of happiness.

"What's he supposed to do with the camera?" Angel asked.

"Oh, that's for me." Max said with a smile. Nudge laughed a little behind her hand.

Max whispered in Iggys ear. Telling him what he has to do when he goes into the Nursing Home. Iggy turned paler, if possible, but nodded. He walked in slower, still trying to cover up. The flock followed him close after.

**-Still No ones POV**

Iggy walked in slower, trying to look like a normal nudist. He took a deep breath then ran. Ran past the receptionist, who was wide eyed, and ran into the room where all the old people gathered to play a rousing game of checkers.

He ran in there and started spraying the old people with whipped cream. They were speechless, except for one old guy.

"ALL OF YOU YOUNG PEOPLE ARE ALL THE SAME!" He shouted angrily. "Walking around naked and such! Screw you sonny!" Then he slapped Iggy with his cane.

Iggy yelped, but still went on with the dare. He took out the bull horn.

"I'M JEFF AND I'M HERE FOR YOU!" He shouted, using his fake name.

He then thought it was appropriate to approach an old women and give her a lap dance. The women shrieked with terror, but seemed to go along with it. Iggy shivered when he realized that the old women was actually enjoying all of this.

The old man hit him with a cane…again.

Iggy yelped again, sprayed whip cream in his hair, then ran out of that Nursing Home like hell. The flock ran after him laughing to the point of dieing. Max taking multiple amount of pictures along the way.

"Nice job Ig!" Gazzy shouted once Iggy put his clothes back on. Iggy shuddered with terror.

"Iggy, I never told you to give that lady a lap dance." Max said. Everyone looked at Iggy with pure disgust.

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**Hoped you liked it! Review! **


	29. Black Faded Scene

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OK! This is going to be a veryyyyyyyyyy short chapter! Sorry, but I realllyyyyy wanted to do this idea in story form!

It is now time for Venting With Claire! Today I had my first day of preseason for field hockey. TORTURE I TELL YOU! It was fun, kinda, but very difficult.

Me: I kinda want my disclaimer, and yet I don't.

Iggy: WHAT?

Me: If there's no disclaimer then that means I own Maximum Ride and I'm famous!

Iggy: Even if you did own us I highly doubt you would be famous! Haha!

Me: YOU HURT ME SO MUCH! *runs away sobbing*

Iggy: She doesn't own us! Now I gotta go fix this *runs after Claire*

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Flock Madness

Black Faded Scene

NO ONES POV

Takes place in a fake drama movie!

Gazzy and Iggy sat across from each other. Staring at each other intently, and not in a sick way. Gazzy was about to ask Iggy the impossible. He was going to give him the hardest challenge anybody can endure. Iggy was about to be tortured.

"Iggy." Gazzy said. "I am giving you a challenge. Do you accept?"

"This hunky man does indeed accept your challenge!" Iggy said, slamming his fist down on the table.

Gazzy stood up and looked away dramatically. "I don't know if I can put you through this!" He put his hand on his forehead.

"Tell me now, or all will be lost!" Iggy said, equally dramatic.

"The challenge is, don't think about penguins." Gazzy whispered.

"Penguins?" Iggy asked, his eyes widening.

"Yes, penguins!"

Iggy looked out the window. A sad frown finding its way onto his face. Gazzy kept glancing at him, concerned beyond measure. He had no way of knowing if his best friend would come out of this alive.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Iggy bellowed, slamming his face against the table.

"What is it Iggy?" Gazzy said, touching his arm in a non-sexual manor.

"I thought about…penguins." A tear slid down his cheek.

"No, how could you have done this to us?" Gazzy screeched. "You've doomed us all!"

Gazzy stormed out of the room. Slamming the door as he left. Iggy stood up, paced around, then stopped to look out the window, looking out into the distance.

"How will I ever be able to live with myself." He whispered to himself. Then he smiled.

"At least the penguin was wearing a hot bikini."

He walked out the room slowly. The scene fades to black.

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Haha, sorry bout this chapter. I just really wanted to do this! Review Please!


	30. Flirtatious Max

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OMF GUYS! I MADE IT TO 200 REVIEWS! Thank you very, very much!

Thank you to my reviewers

-Kami and Rose

-Kiki1607 (My 200th reviewer!)

-Nighthawk21

-nm-maximumride4eva

-PandoraNightRide

-Fazisthegreatest123

Kiki1607, since you were the 200th reviewer, I am doing one of your ideas, and I'll try to make it as funny as I can. (I'm not really sure if I'm funny or not. My mum thinks I'm annoying…) But I'll still do your idea to the best of my ability! (Ha-ha! I have no ability….I make myself laugh)

Me: DISCLAIMER MY FRIEND! :D

Iggy: You seem weirdly happy. I don't like it!

Me: You don't like my happiness?

Iggy: It doesn't appeal to me.

Me: JERKFACE! *runs away again*

Iggy: Well, I'm a screw up. Cool. She doesn't own this story!

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**Flock Madness**

**Flirtatious Max**

**No One's POV**

"Oooooooooh Maxie!" Iggy said in a sing song voice. The flock looked up in surprise.

"Um, what?" Maxes voice was muffled in Fang's room. Where they were…playing board games. Lots and lots of board games.

"I have a dare for the great leader." Iggy said, a smile crossing over his face.

Max and Fang come out of his room, looking incredibly unhappy. The younger flock members looked like they were about to vomit. Poor little Angel's face was pale white. She dared to enter Fang's mind.

"What do you want!" Fang screeched. "I just made it to 3rd base!" Nudges mouth dropped, Maxes face blushed, and Fang's eyes widened when he noticed the other flock members were behind Iggy.

"Ew, were you guys fighting naked?" Gazzy asked in awe. Creepy little child.

"NO!" Max screeched, her face a bright red.

"I wish." Fang mumbled. After hearing that, Max punched Fang… a lot.

"Ok, what's the dare." Max asked, getting slightly curious.

Iggy smiled. "I need you to flirt with a random stranger." Fang growled.

"I don't think so." Fang said angrily. Max put her hand on his shoulder.

"I'll do it." She said, giving Fang a look.

"Excellent." Iggy mumbled.

He took Angel's hand and led her to the other room.

"Angel, I need you to find the perfect person for Max to flirt with." He whispered.

"Alright, what do I need to look for?" She asked. An evil smile appearing on her face.

Iggy then went into numerous details of the guy that Max needs to try to hook up with, or flirt, if you prefer. Iggy didn't want it to be just any ordinary guy.

BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEH BLEHHHH RANDOM LINE BLEH BLEH 

The flock landed in front of the nearest restaurant. Iggy told Max that she was had to flirt with the waiter, and he had the perfect waiter in mind.

"Table for 6 please." Max said politely. Wow.

The receptionist led them through a series of booths and finally settled them in a table with 6 chairs. Angel was mentally telling Iggy that the perfect waiter, for Max to flirt with, was on his way to the table. Iggy sat up straighter and smiled.

"Max, your future lover is coming!" Iggy sang. Max and Fang both glared.

"This is going to turn out gross and wrong isn't it?" Nudge whispered to Gazzy. Gazzy nodded in return.

As if by magic, a super hot guy appeared, and when I mean hot, I mean eye melting hot. Nudges and Maxes mouth both dropped. Max tried hard to compose herself while Fang glared daggers at the super sexy guy.

"Hello, my name is Brian." The waiter said happily.

"Why hello there Brian." Max said in a seductive voice.

Iggy cracked a smile behind his hand. The waiter eyed Fang and Max for a moment, then took out his notebook and pencil.

"May I take your drink orders?" He asked. A chorus of cokes and sprites were said.

"Beer." Iggy said. The waiter eyes him carefully. Max glared at Iggy, remembering the last time he was drunk.

"Aw, well sir you don't look like your 21." Brain said, leaning over the table. Angel snickered.

Iggy slammed the menu down in an exasperated manner. "Fine, be that way."

"I'll have a Dr Pepper, and your number." Max said with a wink. Fang was still glaring.

"Fang," Angel said. "if you keep your face in a glare it will be like that forever."

"Dude, Fang would have an even uglier face!" Gazzy said, clutching his side in laughter.

Fang then turned away from the table and started rubbing his face, trying to take away the glare and bring on the beautiful.

"Umm," Brian mumbled. "maybe you can have my number." He ran off to the kitchen, his face flushed.

Maxes eyes widened. Usually everyone, who she asked, gave them her number. She was "hot" and she needs to work it.

WOW WOW WOWOWOWOW WOW SOOO SEDUCTIVE MAX WOW WOW WOW

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Brian's POV

Dear god this is awkward. Actually this is more than awkward. There's no word for it! I gathered the 6 drinks for the awkward table and pushed open the swinging door. I stopped abruptly when someone was blocking my path. That someone was that weird flirty girl, Max. What is wrong with her.

"Hello Brian." Oh god she was trying to show cleavage.

"Umm, hey…Max is it?" I asked. She nodded and stepped closer.

"There's just something about you." Max purred. She put her hand on my shoulder.

"Here's your drink!" I said quickly, putting the drink in the hand that was on my shoulder.

Oh god, if she only knew the reason I didn't like her.

CREEPY MAX CREEPY MAX CREEPY MAX CREEPY MAX CREEPY MAX AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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No One's POV

Brian handed out the drinks, and Max arrived with her drink already in hand and an angry look on her face. Brian grimaced slightly and took out his notepad.

"Umm, what would you like to eat?" He asked softly.

The flock told them their food orders, and he ran out of there like Satan himself was chasing him.

"What did you do to that poor guy?" Nudge shouted. Max blushed.

"Nothing." Max mumbled.

"If only I could see!" Iggy said. "He sounded pretty scared though."

"You should have heard his mind!" Angel said while laughing.

Brian ran back with their food, distributed it out, then ran back to the kitchen without saying another word.

"That's not a good way to get a tip." Iggy mumbled.

"WHY DOSEN'T HE LOVE ME?" Max screamed.

"Don't worry Max, Fang still wants to get in your bed." Iggy mentioned. The flock stared at him.

"Eh, its true." Fang mumbled. Maxes mouth opened and she slapped him in the back of the head.

"You pervert!" Max screeched.

Brian came to check on them, see if their meal was satisfactory.

"Here's your check." He mumbled, handing the check to Fang.

Brian then ran back to the kitchen blushing for some reason. Fang almost spit out his soda when he saw what was on the check. Iggy and Angel both laughed, knowing what was going on.

"What? Is it a lot of money?" Nudge asked, eyeing Iggy and Angel weirdly.

"No, no." Fang said quickly. "Not a lot of money at all." He smiled weakly.

THIS IS ANOTHER LINE, THIS IS ANOTHER LINE, THIS IS ANOTHER LINE

They were flying back home when Iggy broke the very uncomfortable silence.

"So, Fang. What was on the check?" He asked, even though he already knew.

"Hegavemehisnumber." Fang mumbled.

"What? I couldn't hear you!"

"HE GAVE ME HIS FREAKIN NUMBER!" Fang shouted. Max stopped abruptly, and almost fell out of the sky.

"WHAT?" Nudge screeched.

"He was gay?" Max yelled in shock.

Iggy and Angel laughed softly. Their plan worked perfectly.

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Ok, finally finished it! Field hockey is torture…just felt like mentioning that. Review please! Also, give me some of your ideas, I'd love to hear them!


	31. Screw Up In Life

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Hey guys! Thank you very, very much for all of the fantastic reviews!

I noticed something though, this story is filled with endless random chapters. What I'm trying to say is… *dramatic pause*…I might carry this into another story…like Flock Madness 2 (I don't have an original mind), or something like that. I'm trying to expand my horizon of readers!

Or maybe I wont do anything and sit on my butt and watch some more TV while I get fat. It could go either way.

If I do make a "Sequel" then I will tell you guys. I wont leave ya in the dark!

Me: Dude, I'm running out of funny ideas!

Iggy: That means your old and used!

Me: *Insert extremely sick joke here*

Iggy: I feel dirty…

Me: My disclaimer?

Iggy: She doesn't own…my poor virgin ears.

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Flock Madness

Screw Up In Life

POV No Ones?

NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH SHORT CRAP ABOUT HOW IGGY SCREWS UP IN LIFE! ENJOY!

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"WHY WONT THIS PILLOW FLUFF!"

You see Iggy screaming while throwing a pillow forcefully against the table.

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(told ya they would be short. Some will be longer though!)

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"IT WONT GO IN!" Iggy screamed.

"Come on Iggy you can do it!" Max urged.

"I'm trying! It wont go in!"

"Your going in the wrong hole!"

"I cant see the right hole!"

"Feel around for it then!" Max screeched.

Iggy, yet again, slams the block into the circle hole, and he wondered why it wouldn't fit…

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(Did you guys think it started off nasty…you dirty minds!)

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"Why cant I find enjoyment out of this?" Iggy screeched as he threw the book against the wall.

"The little fact the your blind." Gazzy stated, watching his friend freak out.

"Ok, then give me that type of book blind people read, called…." He trailed off, looking confused.

"Braille?"

"That's it!" Iggy said happily. Gazzy then went to get a brail book, and handed it to Iggy.

"What the heck is this?" Iggy yelled. "All I feel is bumps!"

"That's Braille Iggy…."

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(I hope I spelled Braille correct…and it is called a Braille book? I hope so….)

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You approach the scene, seeing Iggy cooking.

"Sup Iggy." Fang mumbled, trying to see what Iggy was cooking.

"Hello Fangypoo!" Iggy greeted happily.

"What are you making?" He questioned.

"It's a surprise." Iggy said, picking up something that felt like a salt shaker.

"Dude, whatever your making I don't wanna eat!"

"And why not?" Iggy screeched.

"Because that's not salt…"

"Then what the hell is it? Pepper?"

"Dude, you just put Vagisil on your spaghetti!" Fang yelled, staring at the bottle in a horrifying manner.

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(I sure hope you guys know what Vagisil is…because I'm not explaining it! Search it if you don't know…but don't blame me for your future nightmares!)

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Angel: Iggy, what's that?

Iggy: My head?

Angel: No duh! The thing your snuggling with!

Iggy: Oh, that's my Fang plushie!

Angel: O_o

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(I love the concept of a Fang plushie doll, and having Iggy cuddling with one would make my day)

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"AHHHH! I'M SO COLD!" Iggy screamed, sitting on the cold chair in the kitchen.

"What's all the noise for?" Nudge asked, walking in the room.

"It's freezing, and the heat is on, but its still cold!

"That's because you left the freakin' freezer open!"

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(Dude, this actually happened to me…yea I'm talented)

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"Hey Iggy!" Gazzy said, walking into the kitchen.

"Hey Gazzer. What's up?" Iggy said, pouring himself a glass of lemonade.

"Nothin much. I'm going to the doctors and I had to pee in this awesome cup!" Gazzy sounded excited about his cup of pee.

"Cool man! Did you have fun?" Iggy asked.

"Who doesn't have fun peeing in a cup!"

"True that!" Iggy said, taking a sip of his drink.

"Iggy…"

"Yea?"

"You just drank my pee…."

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(Everyone say ew with me! Peeing in a cup sucks….well for girls it sucks…I cant speak for the guys though…)

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"MAX THE TV IS BROKEN!" Iggy screamed from the living room.

"What? No it's not!" Max replied.

"I cant hear it!"

Max sighed. "It's on mute Iggy."

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(Is this chapter stupid yet? I think yes! And again…this has also happened to me before…)

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Finished with this weird chapter! If I plan on making a sequel then I'll send you guys an author's note! Review Please!


	32. Wow Really?

**Hey guys! I found some time in my busy, busy schedule (as if) to write another stupid chapter! IMPORTANT: If you guys have ANY ideas (stupid or good) then don't be afraid to tell me! Because I pretty much write about anything. Right now I'm just improvising with random crappy chapters.**

**ALSO I have a poll on my profile, I wanna see how many people actually read my little rants above my stories.**

**ALSO I have made, yet again, another stupid story! It's called Abusive Parody. Go to my profile and check it out please!**

**Me: Iggy I'm still mad at you!**

**Iggy: *Cowers in fear***

**Me: Yea you better cower! I don't own Maximum Ride!**

**Iggy: Ok, that's just hurtful right there!**

**Me: WHAT NOW! I TOOK YOUR DISCLAIMER!**

**WARNING: THIS CHAPTER IS FILLED WITH RANDOM CRAP THAT THE FLOCK CAN DO WHEN THEIR BORED. READ WITH CAUTION, AND YOU CAN TRY THESE IDEAS AT HOME!**

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Flock Madness

Wow Really?

**No One's Possibly?**

**WATER SNEEZE-**

**Iggy and Gazzy VS. Fang**

Fang was sitting down on the couch, having fun watching some TV. What he didn't know was that Iggy and Gazzy were lurking behind him, extremely bored. Iggy pulled Gazzy into the kitchen.

"Gazzy I need you to do something." Iggy whispered, trying to make sure Fang didn't over hear.

"What do I need to do sir?"

"Ok, first off, pour some water into your hand…" Iggy said, continuing with the plan.

Gazzy walked into the living room with a handful of water. He gave Iggy a last glance and walked to the back of the couch where Fang was sitting. Gazzy took a seep breath.

"ACHOOOOOOOO!" He pretended to sneeze, while throwing the water on the back of Fang's neck.

"WHAT THE FREAKIN HELL WAS THAT!" Fang screamed, jumping of the couch and started chasing Gazzy around the house.

In the kitchen you find Iggy, smiling smugly behind the doorframe.

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**HAIR ATTACK**

**- Angel and Nudge VS. Max**

"Pssst Nudge." Angel whispered, watching Fang and Max watch TV.

"Yea?" She whispered in reply.

"Watch this."

Nudge watched as Angel pulled out a piece of her hair and put it in Maxes ear. Max scratched her ear, but thought nothing of it. Angel did it again, but this time Max whipped her head around to look for something, anything, while Nudge and Angel ducked behind the couch.

"You wanna try?" Angel asked, trying to control her laughter. Nudge nodded while pulling out a piece of her hair. Nudge tickled Maxes ear with her hair, yet again. Max jumped up off the couch and yelled.

"THAT IS A DEMONIC COUCH!" She ran out of the room in a dramatic fashion. Fang then turned around and looked at them.

"You just love torturing people, don't ya?" He said, laughing slightly.

"You know us all too well." Angel said with a smile.

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**AROUND AND AROUND AGAIN-**

**Gazzy VS. Himself**

Gazzy got bored one day, so he felt like getting as nauseated as possible. So he spun around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and around and then he threw up all over the pretty carpet….poor carpet.

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**SWALLOW TO THE MAX**

**- Iggy VS. His Tongue**

Iggy tried to swallow it, but it wouldn't go down! What the heck was wrong with him? He tried again, and failed yet again.

"Iggy, what are you trying to accomplish?" Max asked, concerned about the welfare of her friend.

"Trying to swallow my tongue." Maxes eyes widened a little, but she though 'Why not let him have fun?'

"Ok! Enjoy!" She said happily as she walked away.

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**WEIRD TWITCH**

**- Angel VS. Muscle Spasms **

Angel was sitting in a chair, all alone. When boredom comes knocking out your door, then what do you do? Invent a new twitch of course! So now all you can see is Angel and her eye, mouth, and head twitching.

"Angel what's wrong with you?" Fang asked, walking into the room and seeing Angel spasm.

"Inventing a new twitch duhhhhh!"

Fang walked out of the room, looking confused. He acted smartly though. He knew there was no use in arguing with a mind reader.

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Thanks for reading guys! Check out my profile and review, if you so desire! And I know this chapter isnt the best...Thanks for reading!


	33. America Silenced

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NOT A COMEDY FILLED CHAPTER!

What if the Flock happened to turn on the TV on 9/11...what if?

Rest in peace fighters and workers, you will be forever missed.

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Flock Madness

America Silenced

Angel POV

I was lying on my bed, tangled up in sheets, on a bright September morning. Someone jostled me awake. Ok, not jostled, more like punched me awake. I blinked a couple of times. My eyes focused on a very distraught looking Max. Tear were threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Who died?" I grumbled, not to happy to be woken up. A tear spilled.

"I think…a lot of people…" Her voice choked.

She grabbed me bridal style and ran me to the living room where Iggy and Gazzy were surrounding the TV. Their mouth was agape, their eyes wide. They simultaneously looked at Max and I, said nothing, then turned back to the TV.

"Where's Fang and Nudge?" I asked, still having no idea what was happening.

"Fang's waking up Nudge." Max said softly, as if she was in a daze.

She laid me on the couch and sat me on her lap, telling Gazzy and Iggy to come sit with her. Which they did. Gazzy took his seat beside me, putting his on my leg. Iggy sat next to Max, taking her hand in his. Fang burst into the room, dragging a very unkempt looking Nudge. She was mumbling nonsense words. Her eyes widened when they met the TV screen. It seemed everyone knew what was going on, except me.

"Oh my god…" Fang whispered.

"Those people are jumping!" Gazzy screamed, horrified. Jumping? Jumping on what, or for what?

"There's a second plane…" Nudge whispered, putting her hand over her mouth.

I looked out the TV screen. Seeing a building burst into flames. I immediately thought it was a movie, but then realized the Flock wouldn't react this way to a movie. What on earth was happening? Max gasped in shock, her arms tightened around me.

"Their falling, their falling…" Max mumbled into my hair. Nudge burst into tears and Gazzy was fighting to be strong.

"All those people." Fang whispered. I finally had enough of this confusion.

"Max, what's happening?" I whispered, crying slightly at the scene of the crying Flock.

"Angel, baby. Planes were crashed into the Twin Towers." Max started to cry silently.

"The worst terrorist attack known to Americans." Iggy grumbled, looking mad.

This is when I finally understood what was happening.

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9 years ago, I was in 1st grade. Coloring a picture when my teacher barged in and demanded everyone to line up. We did as we were told. My teacher led me to our church, where we would be under extreme lock down because our school had multiple bomb threats. I came home that day, to find my mother crying in front of the TV, I was 6 years old. I never understood what really happened that day, but I understand now…I will never forget those terrified people on that TV screen. Stay safe, and God Bless.


	34. Twi Whaaaa?

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HEY WHATS UP? I haven't written in a while, well for this story! OK, OK I apologize. I'm running out of ideas, and school takes up a lot of effort, and I'm reallyyyyyy lazy. Super lazy.

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For example: I'm sitting two feet away from the remote…and I try to stretch my foot to try to get it and pick it up with my toes. I failed and had to go an hour without tv when I finally got up off my butt.

Thank you for listening.

SERIOUS: I know some of my chapters are becoming worse and worse, and some of you gave me great ideas. Like songfics, but I don't know if I have talent for songfics yet. (Wait, I have no talent…) So, I'll just dabble here and there in random topics.

ALSO: I have updated Walmart Adventure. If you haven't looked at it then go look at it! It's a lot like this story-but in walmart-so, if you like this story you'll like that story.

REVIEWS:

~She5398- Thank you so much for your reviews on many of my stories, and I am so glad that this story here got you back into reading fan fiction.

~Faxisthegreatest123- You've been a reviewer for a long time! Thank you so very much.

~SilverWings1997- Most people believe we, children, are all psycho. I'm glad I was able to make you laugh!

~Call Me Bitter- Thank you so much! You are also a reviewer for many of my stories, and for that I am thankful!

~The Winged Goddess of Freedom- Disturbing, yes, but I like it! Disturbing is right up my ally!

~Tammy Angel- Maybe, I might do some more elevator things. You never know!

~EmmyCriesBlood- I must admit, your name frightens me. And I am not easy to scare, but I like you idea!

~Porcupine451- Thank you for reviewing and finding my story entertaining! Yea, I tried the lollipop thing too…I failed…

~FeliciaCaden- Thank you for reviewing! I hate when that happens too! I'll try to update more often!

THANK YOU GUYS SOOO MUCH FOR STICKING WITH ME THIS FAR! Dude, this was almost a page long….

Me: DANG LOOK AT THOSE WORDS ABOVE!

Iggy: Nah, I got bored with your writing.

Me: JERK!

Iggy: Hmm, I like jerky.

Me: Yum, same here…

Iggy: You don't own me! Now I go get me some beef jerky!

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Me: CYA GUYS! *runs after Iggy*

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Flock Madness

Twi Whaaaaa'?

Max POV

"I never had given much thought to how I would die, because who would?"

"STICK TO THE SCRIPT!" Nudge bellowed, slapping me in the back of the head.

If you haven't found out what was happening yet, then your pretty clueless. Nudge here wanted us to live and breathe Twilight for a day, so now I'm forced into this. My character is the depressing gay girl named Bella.

I stuck out my tongue. "But dieing in the place for someone I love, seemed like a pretty good way to go. Well, too bad for me I hate everyone in my life…" Nudge screamed and Fang smirked. "Can we, like, fast forward through this book please?" I begged.

"Your already ruining it, so knock yourself out pleaseeeee" Nudge said. I gave her a thumbs up.

"Yea, I live with my dad Charlie. His name is really Bruce, but I call him Charlie because it confuses him and I feel insecure with calling him dad cause he never loved me." I heard Nudge sigh.

"Because my life is so boring I'm going to give you the low down of stuff. Charlie/Bruce got me a truck, I pretended to like it, some dude named Jacob tried to get me in bed, and then I went to school to get mocked at." I'm miserable, why must I do this?

"Then I went to my first class and some Asian kid followed me everywhere. Then the dreaded Biology, where some kid thought I stunk."

"Oh dear Jesus what's that smell?" Edward whispered behind his hand. Fang was forced into this play too. I bet you know what character he is now.

"I SHOWER EVERYDAY! GOSH!" I pretended to run out of the room, but I really didn't because I'm too lazy.

"Now it's the next week!" Nudge said, trying to make this little play go faster. We both nodded.

"I LOVE YOU BELLA!" Fang screamed, actually hugging me. I slapped him.

"Just take me into the forest you disgusting creature!" I screamed. He dragged me into the forest as promised.

The forest looked so dinky with the potted plants in the corner. Nudge was trying to simulate wind by blowing in our hair, which was incredibly annoying.

"Um, I know who you are!" I pointed at Fang.

"LIAR! I am not a sexy vampire with wings!" His hands up in surrender. Angel had started to video tape this.

"No you're the liar! You don't have wings, and your skin is a creepy cold feeling, and you never sleep! I saw you last night through my window!"

"What are you trying to say?" He raised his eyebrows.

"I know what you are." I said seriously.

"Say it out loud." He hissed.

"How else is there to say it?" I questioned.

"Well, there is Braille and Morse code. Hey don't get me distracted! Say it!"

"A…stalker." I gulped. He nodded then realized what I said.

"NO! I'M A FREAKING VAMPIRE YOU STUPID GIRL!" Then Fang pretended to eat me.

"THE END!" Iggy screamed.

Me and Fang started laughing for no reason in general.

"NO!" Nudge screeched. "You messed up everything!" She ran away crying.

I looked at Fang. "Did you have fun?" He nodded. "Then her tears are worth it!"

* * *

********

So, I compacted Twilight in a few stupid paragraphs! Ok, I love Twilight (don't shoot me) and now harshness meant for the Asians out there.

I DON'T OWN TWILIGHT

REVIEW!


	35. Dress Fiasco

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Hello my friends and reviewers! Today is Homecoming for me! So, I thought, why not do a fun filled chapter of dancing a dresses. Because we all know Max just LOVES dresses.

~She5298- Thank you for the idea. I'm still a little puzzled on how I would actually be able to write something with the reviewers in it, but I'll see if I can accomplish this task!

~The Winged Goddess of Freedom- Haha, thank you! I doubt it's the BEST twilight parody ever, but I'm so glad you like it!

~Kiki1607- Surfer talk? .Gosh. That is serious! I'm glad you liked it!

~EmmyCriesBlood- Ok good! I thought you might have had some weird power that makes you cry blood or something. Thanks for the review!

~PandoraNightRide- Hmm, your totally right. He is sexy with wings…

~Mysterywriter2418- Thank you so much for the review! I'm glad my chapter made you laugh!

~Porcupine451- My friends and I, when we watch the movie, we mute it and make our own dialogue. You can imagine it doesn't turn out so well.

~Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden- Oh shoot me! I enjoy the book, but the movie gives me no pleasure what so ever. Haha! Speaking of non-believers I really need to watch some more Charlie the Unicorn.

Me: I want a disclaimer.

Iggy: Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z *snores*

Me: Pssst Max isn't wearing any clothes!

Iggy: WAIT WHAT? WHERE!

Me: HAHAHAHAHA!

Iggy: Aw, man! Not again! I'm cant even see.

Max: Your dead.

Me: Whoa! Where did Max come from?

Max: You don't own us!

Iggy: She just jacked my job!

* * *

**Flock Madness**

**Dress Fiasco**

**Max POV**

"Guess what Maxxxxx!" Nudge said in a sing song voice, which made me want to puke up blood.

"Yesssss?" I'm gonna regret asking.

"We're going to a dance tonight!" Dear Lawd Jesus.

Nudge was already happy dancing around the coffee table, so it was fairly difficult to tell her that there was no way in hell anyone could force me into a dress and dance in front of short people.

"Do we have to?" I whined. After hearing the commotion the Flock was gathered around the sofa.

"So I hear we have to go to a dance?" Gazzy asked, making a sickening face. I nodded.

"Cool! I always wanted to go to a high school gathering!" Angel exclaimed. I gave her a weird look, but waved off her creepiness.

"But this means we need clothes!" I shouted. Hoping that someone would agree not to go with me.

"I already purchased them." Nudge smirked, pulling multiple amount of dresses from behind the couch. I gaped. "I always do things before hand." Angel cheered.

"Dear god." I heard Fang whisper.

"Now, Iggy, Gazzy. I need to tell you something about this dance." Nudge said, pulling them aside.

Nudge gave me the worst dress possible. Now I know everyone should always own a little black dress, but little, in this case was an understatement. It looked slutty! And I couldn't complain to Nudge because she was getting Gazzy and Iggy dressed! I. Hate. My. Life.  
"Come on Max. Lighten up a bit." Fang said. Oh my gosh, now Fang was telling me to be optimistic!

"Fang, your supposed to agree with me! Your always negative." I huffed.

"I think this could be fun." He smirked.

"Nudge talked you into it, didn't she." He nodded. I sighed.

"I should have known. Well, since you want to go soooo badly, go get dressed!"

I ran to my room, locked the door, and took another good look at this dress. I slipped it on, hoping that it wouldn't look too bad, but I was wrong. It was shorter when it was on. I walked outside and ran into Fang, who was now dressed in a tux. He stared at me like I was some freak.

"What are you staring at?" I shouted. He was acting rather creepy. His eyes were still wide.

"Um, I need to go to the b-bathroom." He stuttered, and ran like hell.

"Freak." I muttered.

45 ½ MINUTES LATER

"NUDGE GET YOUR BUTT MOVING!" I screamed, tapping my foot impatiently by the front door.

"OH SHUT UP I'M COMING!" I raised my eyebrows at her loud outburst.

Nudge came out of her room, dragging Angel along with her, wearing a light purple dress that went down to her knees. Angel was wearing something that resembled a pink princess dress, but Iggy and Gazzy weren't behind her.

"Where's the guys?" I asked, going on my toes to try to see over Nudges shoulder, but she promptly shut the door.

"Um, they'll meet us there." Nudge smiled while Angel giggled.

"I smell something fishy." Fang whispered in my ear. I smirked.

"Really? Well I smell two very sinister bird-kids." Fang and I walked out the door, following Nudge and Angel.

10 ¾ MINUTES LATER

"This place isn't half bad!" I yelled over the music.

Fang and I were at the edge of the dance crowd, since we really didn't feel like grinding up against each other in the middle of the crowd. Nudge and Angel were doing only god knows what, and I can only hope that they were keeping each other out of trouble. Suddenly two spot lights went on and pointed to the entrance of the dance. Where Gazzy and Iggy came running in, wearing kilts.

"Are we late?" Gazzy yelled, his kilt billowing. Iggy looked panicked. I walked over to them.

"Why the hell are you wearing a kilt?" I asked. Gazzy looked surprised at what everyone was wearing.

"Nudge told us it was a Scottish dance!"

I turned around and saw Nudge and Angel at the corner of the dance. Nudge met my eye and winked. I couldn't help but smile.

* * *

********

Oh how I get bored so easily.

Quotes During This Chapter: By Me~

"Oh crap! What's ¾? Is that more than a half? Jesus, I see why I'm failing math!"

"Dude, I love kilts. They make you feel free!"

"Hmm, I wonder if the Flock actually ate bird seeds if they would like it or not…"

"S-L-U-T-T-Y…ok spelling, spelling. Did I make up this word or something? Cuzz spell check says something's wrong!"

REVIEW MY FRIENDS, also check out my other stories!


	36. Flocks Quest For The Perfect Twinkie 1

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Hello my ravenous fans! Ha-ha, I made myself believe I have fans…oh I make myself laugh. Anyways, how have ya'll been? (Dang, ya'll) How was your weekend/school week? Does it seem like I'm prying into your social lives because I don't have one myself?

DING DING DING, we have a winner!

REVIEWERS!

~She5298- Hmm, it would be entertaining to see Gazzy and Iggy in kilts. Especially Iggy, but that's jut my opinion.

~Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden- After I finished typing your name, I wanted to kill myself. I had to flip back and forth to get it right! Anyways, thanks for liking my story!

~Faxisthegreatest123- Kilts do make oneself feel free…but I'm still debating whether or not Iggy and Gazzy were wearing underwear at the time of the kilt wearing.

~Mysterywriter2418- Oh my gosh, WHO ARE YOU? Sorry, I really wanted to say that, with you being a mystery and all…heh…never mind.

~PandoraNightRide- It says its spelled wrong, and its making me want to throw my laptop forcefully out the window!

~EmmyCriesBlood- (Look above) Yea, my laptop is definitely having a flying test AKA throwing out the window.

~Moi Productions Ea Rayos- Aw, it makes me feel special that you stayed up all night to read my ridiculous story! Thank you soooo much!

~She With Wings- Yeaaa, I really don't know how to respond to this review…so, thanks for reviewing!

Me: *sniffles* I ACTUALLY HAVE REVIEWERS!

Iggy: I bet it's all you with different accounts…

Me: Nuh uh! I'm actually loved!

Iggy: Not even your mother loves you!

Me: *sigh* Ok, maybe your right….I don't own this story!

Iggy: WHAT? First Max takes my job, now you. What horrible people!

******

* * *

**

**Flock Madness**

**The Flocks Quest For The Perfect Twinkie 1**

**POV No one's**

"MAXXXXXXXXXXXXX!" Iggy's voice bellowed through the house. Max crinkled her nose in disgust at the sound of his voice.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT YOU BLIND OAF?" Max yelled at the same volume.

"WE'RE OUT OF FREAKIN FAT GUY TWINKIES!" Oh. My. Gosh.

It seems for about a month the Flock has been getting into some very unhealthy foods. First McDonalds, then Burger King, and now they were bringing unhealthy foods right into their own pantries. Usually the Flock had their own secret (Not really a secret) supply of Twinkies, but now their Twinkie gauge was empty.

Max stood up quickly, her colorful M&M's flying off her lap and onto the floor. Every Flock member was now gathering in the hallway to start the secret (not really a secret) club, called the People That Like Fat Foods So Much That They Decided To Make a Club and Worship the Best Fat Guy Food Known as the Twinkie! Also know as P.T.L.F.F.S.M.T.T.D.T.M.C.W.B.F.G.F.K.T, but they usually just called it 'the club'.

"Are we all here." Fang said warily.

"I'll count heads!" Gazzy said brightly. "Ok, one, two three, NUDGE STOP MOVING!"

"SOR-RY!" Nudge said in a preppy fashion.

"Ok, we're all here!"

Fang grabbed his hammer and pounded it against the table. "We will now commence with the PT..L.F.S.M.T.T." He took a deep breath. "D.T.M.C.W.B.F.G.F.K.T!" Lightning boomed in the distance. Angel whistled in amazement.

Fang paced around the room. "As we all might already know, our Twinkie stock went into a short supply today, and when I mean short supple, I mean WE HAVE NONE LEFT!" Lightning struck again in the distance.

"Winter is approaching quickly, and we need our fatty foods to survive this tundra. The definition of fatty food is the Twinkie!" A cricket chirped. Fang decided to ignore it, hoping that more lightning would come.

"So, will we search every store to find our prize?" Nudge asked. Max and Fang smiled.

"Oh yes, we shall." Max said.

Fang stood up and pulled down a pull down map from the wall and took out his pointer stick thing. "Ok, we will split into teams! Team blue is Gazzy, Iggy, and I." He pointed to the map. "We will be going to Giant, Wise, and Laures. Team red will be Max, Nudge and Angel." H pointed to the other side of the map. "You guys will be going to Walmart, Piggly Wigglys (Oh gosh I love that place) and Target!"

Gazzy and Iggy stood up to join Fang in the front of the room.

"Disperse!" Fang yelled. Thunder rattled the windows.

* * *

**The Fatty Guys**

"Dude, I'm blind! I cant find the convenient entrance!" Fang watched as Iggy walked around in circles at the entrance of Giant.

"So, shall we get our Twinkies?" Gazzy asked, skipping through the automated doors. Again, another luxury to the fatties our there.

"Let's find what we came here for!" Fang shouted in a war like way.

We sped walked to the desert aisle, or maybe it's the Twinkie aisle. Either way the end of the rainbow is down the aisle. We skimmed through the assortment of snacks, but there was no huge box labeled 'Twinkies' anywhere. NO WHERE!

"Excuse me!" Gazzy said to a worker.

"Yea?" He said nonchalantly.

"Where's the Twinkies?" He all but yelled.

The guy rolled his eyes. "We're sold out. An obese community came in an whipped us out." He walked away weirdly.

"Damn my life." Fang said all emo like.

* * *

**The Not As Fat Girls**

"What's first on the list?" Angel asked, spinning in a way that made Max want to puke up blood, and her stomach…and maybe a kidney if possible.

"Uhhh, Wal-Mart!" Max said all smart like.

"SUGAR SUGAR  
Sponge cake  
Ah, creamy filling  
You are my sugar high!  
And you got me wanting goo  
Crave it  
Ah, microwave it  
Twinkies go dynamite!  
Lovely phallic symbols too" Nudge sang in her creepy high pitched voice that sounded remotely like Justin Bieber.

Angel and Max stopped in their steps, looking at Nudge in a way that said 'Dear Jesus you are extremely weird…and I kinda want to push you off the edge of the earth' Nudge looked up innocently, as if she did nothing disturbing what so ever.

Max then burst through the doors of Wal-Mart in a very cool fashion.

"BOOM BABY!" Max shouted, Angel and Nudge at her sides.

The old lady greeter looked slightly afraid for her life, but she said hello so she wouldn't get fired and thrown out into the streets. Angel ran ahead, looking through aisle after aisle, until finally she found out that she wasn't even in the food section, but in the condom aisle.

"Hey Max!" Nudge shouted, suppressing her laughter at the sight of condoms.

"YESSSS?" Max shouted an aisle down. The shampoo aisle to be exact.

"You might wanna see this!" Angel said, using a cough to cover her laugh.

"What do you want children?" Max said, walking towards them.

"You might want one of these!" Nudge pointed.

Max walked up to the shelf, squinted her eyes to make out the lettering, then gaped slightly while trying to cover up a blush that was producing on her cheek. She figured 'Why be embarrassed when I can kill them with one sweep of my arm?'

And that is how you find 2 bird kids running for their lives.

"WAIT WAIT!" Nudge shouted. Stopping in mid run and lifting up her hands in surrender. Max was still running and ran gracefully into Nudge.

"WHAT?" Max screeched.

"We need to focus on our mission." Nudge said seriously. Angel's and Maxes eyes turned serious when they remembered what they came here for.

"Yes, yes…" Max muttered, strolling down the random Hostess aisle.

After a few seconds of tense silence Max yelled. "THEIR NOT FREAKIN HERE!"

"I knew those fat guys enjoyed themselves a little too much in that aisle!" Angel shouted, pointing at 2 fat guys hiding hostess boxes under their shirt.

"I'M GOING TO F-**__****_"Hello ladies and gentlemen, I must apologize for this interruption. Bad words are being used and I am trying to make you laugh, not scar you for life. So, please enjoy this episode of Rainbow the Magical Bunny and his little friend Toot the Owl! "YAY!" Rainbow yelled happily, showing Toot his pie he just made from scratch. "Oh my goodness! How was that possible?" Toot questioned. "Well, with a little motivation and some happiness you can-"_**

"CALM DOWN MAX!" Angel shouted at a red faced screaming Maximum.

Max took a deep breath. "I'm going to end up killing some one…" She muttered.

********

TO BE CONTINUED!

* * *

So, did ya like it? Really like it? You hated it? Awwwwww….REVIEW MY FRIENDS! ALSO I AM NOT MAKING FUN OF FAT PEOPLE…

Quotes during this chapter:

*Typing about Rainbow and Toot* "My readers are going to think I'm completely mental!"

"THEY ACTUALLY HAVE A TWINKIE SONG! Omg it's my new theme song! -cough- I mean….LOOK! YOGURT!"

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the wa- wait a second…it's not Christmas!"


	37. Flight or Fright

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Hello ladies and gentlemen! The Twinkie search will have to be on hold for a chapter, because I just realized it's Halloween! (It's Halloween today where I live…) And I need the Flock and other random people trick or treating.

Thank you all for reviewing! I wasn't able to get on and see who reviewed, so I thank you 3 folds once I write again.

Iggy: DO DU DON DU DON DO DU DO DOOO DO BATMAN!

Me: I'm being a freakin cannibal for Halloween! I can eat Batman for breakfast…literally.

Iggy: 0_o Slightly disturbing, but coming from anyone but you I would be concerned.

Me: GOOD! Now give me my flippin' disclaimer before I eat your brain with some nice soup!

Iggy: Uhh, she doesn't own! Thank god too, I need my brain.

Me: Why? You don't use it! HAHAHAHA!

Iggy: WHA-

Me: HERE'S THE CHAPTER! *Iggy mumbles angrily.*

******

* * *

**

Flock Madness

Flight or Fright

Max POV

"Hey, Max." Gazzy called from the living room. "Can we take a walk?"

Why the heck would someone want to take a walk at 7 at night…exempting the nightly romantic walks on the beach, or sleep over's, or other romantic things with your lover….OK I'm seriously getting off track here. Since when have I been thinking about love…

____

*Flashback*

"MAX I LOVE YOU!" Fang screams with arms open wide.

*_End of Flashback*_

Ooooh, so that's why my mind has been off track. Back to the present here.

"Umm, why?" I asked, still slight perplexed. (Big word there son. Understand?)

"Cuzz it's nice out." Touché.

"Fine, we'll go!" I shouted. "Get the rest of the flock ready then!" If I have to suffer, then all of us suffer.

12 MINUTES AND 12.4444444444444444445 SECONDS LATER.

"We're ready!" Iggy proclaimed, dressed in a…Batman costume? Whaaaa'?

********

(A/N…haha, ohh Batman…cannibal gonna get ya)

"What's with the creepy outfit." I asked. Iggy smiled evilly, but wiped the smile off his face.

"If I'm gonna be walking, then I'm walking in style." I could already hear the theme music buzzing in my head.

Gazzy jumped out, out of no where wearing a Robin costume. Ha, loser. He has to be a sidekick. Angel and Nudge came out in princess costumes. What the heck is wrong with my family? Thank god I'm not actually related to them, then I might not get the disease that's going around. Fang walked out looking normal. Well, as normal as an emo, goth birdkid can get.

"Why are they being weird?" I asked Fang.

"Weirder?" He smirked. I nodded, he shrugged, and I almost blew up.

"Ooooook," I made the word longer than needed. "let's walk?" The kids, plus Iggy, cheered.

We made our way around the neighborhood. More people seemed to outside than necessary, which creeped me out. No one was outside in these times! Everyone sat inside eating their fat foods and watching Jersey Shore! What the heck.

"BOO!" A wolf guy popped out in front of me.

You can guess what happened. All I remembered was me shouting 'ERASER!', Nudge screaming to calm down, the wolf guy screaming in a high pitched voice, and me…kicking the living daylights out of whoever this was.

After about a few seconds of menacing punches, the Flock was able to sedate me. Sedate meaning giving me a chocolate chip cookie to calm the senses. They helped up the Eraser…wait what?

"Why are you helping it up?" I screeched. The wolf guy groaned and pulled off his mask. WAIT MASK?

"Ugh, Happy Halloween you jerk!" The kid ran away crying.

"WHAT THE F-"

**__****__**

-and a little bit of magic, all your dreams can come true!" Rainbow the Magically Bunny sung. Toot did a happy dance in the corner and asked for pie. "NO!" Rainbow screamed. "IT'S MY PIE!" He screamed and ran away, leaving Toot…tootless.

"It's called Halloween Max." Angel said carefully, as if I would blow up again.

"is that why you guys are dressed up?" I asked. They all nodded, except Fang and Iggy.

Wait, where is the blind freak? Iggy walked up holding a shirt filled with candy, which is very bad for a birdkid. Sugar like that will…destroy this neighborhood. Destroy I tell you. I walked up to Iggy, making sure my steps were quiet. He stopped and looked around.

"AHHHHHH!" I screamed in his face.

"EKKKKKKKKKKK!" Iggy screeched like a girl, his candy flying every.

I then made a split decision, to steal his candy and run away, and I did just that.

* * *

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HAPPY HALLOWEEN! REVIEW PLEASE!

Quotes during chapter:

"Haha, ween…sounds like wiener."

"Gosh, my town is soooo gay. Why is Halloween today!"

"FREAKIN INTERNET KEEPS SHUTTING OFF!" *pounds at computer mercilessly*


	38. Twinkie Search 2

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DE DO DE DOOOO! Beep. Beep, Boop. Ugh, I get boredddd easily! I wish I was a wizard…like in Harry Potter. Just sayin.

IMPORTANT: People, I need you to tell your friends about this story! Believe it or not, I would like more people to read…

REVIEWS! For chap 37 and 38

~Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden: Hmm, yes. I understand,

~Emmy Cries Blood: Haha! Oh how I laughed at your review! *huggles!*

~Porcupine451: Well, I am on 'What The Hell, Are You Completely Mental', and I take it daily. Yea, I went to school after Halloween too…I was the outcast.

~She With Wings: I will now preach to you. BACON BAD! Don't eat, SAVE THE PIGS!

~Faxisthegreates123: Ok, I'm going to guess what this review means…*thinks* I got nothing

~Mysterywriter2318: Dude, I've seen people when they want a Twinkie, aint pretty my friend.

~Moi Productions Ea Rayos: Haha, we all want some Batman ;)

~I heart manga 89: I think I messaged you, but I do have a Wal-Mart story! Thanks for reviewing!

~She5298: I know! I felt bad for poor Iggy, and yes…Batman does the stomach good! Haha! Thanks, I'm glad you like my inner thoughts while I write for chapters.

~FlyingSolo365: I gave them personalities? Cool! I thought they were my mindless puppets, hehe!

Iggy: Claire, we have some bad news.

Me: What is it doctor?

Iggy: You are the author of a crappy fan fiction!

Me: OH NO! *grasps head in defeat* It cant be!

Iggy: Also…

Me: What could be worse?

Iggy: You…are diagnosed with mentally-retarded-when-with-people syndrome.

Me: Oh, pshhhh I already knew that! I don't own Maximum RIDE!

Iggy: Why'd you capitalize Ride?  
Me: I thought I'd shake it up gangsta style!

******

* * *

**

Flock Madness

Twinkie Search 2

No One POV

The Guys Trip To Wise

"How do you pronounce this place anyways?" Gazzy asked, tripping over the curb.

"Uh, I pronounce it like WEESE, but that's just me." Iggy shrugged.

"Are you guys retarded. It's Wise, like 'you are wise', which your not!" Fang screamed at the bozos.

The walked carefully into the store. Fang was secretly feeling like a Jedi Ninja when the doors automatically, Iggy felt the wind shift when the doors opened and he thought Gazzy passed gas, and Gazzy was wondering how it opened, and he thought he that maybe he could be a wizard and that he would get his Hogwarts letter any day now.

All of a sudden an announcement came on saying "CLEAN UP IN AISLE 7!"

Gazzy gasped. "The Twinkies are in aisle 7!"

Fang sprinted, and when I say sprinted I mean, he pushed everyone out of the way. Including a small child holding a lollipop. Gazzy dragged Iggy, following the path that Fang…destroyed.

Fang arrived there to see a bunch of people destroying everything, wearing togas. One fat guy had the last box in his hand and he was about to rip it in half, but Fang shouted "NOOOOOOOO!" (picture this as a slow motion No.) And jumped for the box. Unfortunately when Fang tackled him, the fat guy smashed the box and all of its contents.

Gazzy and Iggy arrived to see Fang, sitting there and crying. And a crying unconscious looking fat guy.

"Fang. Are you ok?" Iggy asked hesitantly. Fang slowly lifted his head.

"I hate my life." Fang said in an emo voice.

* * *

********

Girls Trop To Piggly Wigglys (Oh god I love that store!)

"Frinkie  
That is short for frozen Twinkie  
Once you've tried one you will know  
Whoa-oo-wo-oh -  
Freasure  
Frozen-pleasure me my dear  
Kinky smile from ear to ear  
Try 'em deep-fried too  
Whew-oo-oo-oo!" Nudge sang as she skipped towards the door. Max pressed her hands against Angel's ears to tell Nudge…

"What the heck Nudge? Kinky? ! Really?" Max screeched.

"Hey, not my fault Twinkies are that good!" Nudge yelled, running into the store.

Max took her hands off Angels ears "Unfortunately for me, I can read her sick mind." Poor Angel.

They ran into the store, trying to find Nudge. She was waving her arms wildly throughout the store. She then tackled someone who worked there. Max, after seeing this, ran up to them.

"God, I'm sorry. This girl is retarded…don't blame a retard for her actions." Max said, gesturing to Nudge. Nudges face turned red from anger.

"Where are the Twinkies." Angel said in a hypnotizing voice.

"We're out, but we have some in the back." The guy said in a monotone. Drool was coming out of his mouth and Angel made a disgusted face.

"Well, you heard the man! LET US GO FORCE!" Nudge screamed and did a Indian war call.

"And I thought you were disturbed Angel." Max said, following the sound of Nudges war call.

"Three hundred Twinkie cals  
Keep on burning in your bowels  
No part of it's refined - but sugar till you're blind  
But cut off my supply and I will die-hi-hi-hie!  
Oo-yummy-oo-nummy-oo-in-my-tummy-oo  
Oo-yummy-oo-numb-me-oo-in-my-tummy-oo" Nudge started singing again, as she pushed open the door to the back room where the Twinkies are said to be held.

"Where did I go wrong with this child!" Max screamed to the sky.

Angel ran past them both and used her super mind power to pin point where the Twinkies were. Good thing for her is that Twinkies have a mind of their own. Bad thing was, there was only one box there. Why would they only buy one box? Because they enjoy torturing those who eat these more than a Nun reads the Bible. Nudge, Max, and Angel sat around that lonely box of Twinkies.

"We have two options." Angel started. "We could either bring this box back to our base camp, or shove them gracefully into our mouths." Max smiled.

"You really are an evil child." Max then gracefully shoved a Twinkie into her mouth.

* * *

"I feel a disturbance in the Twinkie universe." Fang said, pressing his hands to his head.

* * *

********

TOO BE CONTINUED….

Thank you all for reviewing! I made another new story call Ari's Corner…it might be suckish…but you know how I roll.

Quotes During Chapter:

"Oh Jesus *eats Frito* I love this fattening crap! *eats more* Aww, I ate the whole bag…."

**"I'm craving a Twinkie now…"**

"AWWW! My dog is soooooo cute! *huggles**pets*"


	39. In Soviet Russia, Twinkie Eats You

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Hello my fellow…hmm I don't know what to call you guys. I think we're far past strangers…because I feel I have this special bond with you guys. Are you creeped out yet? Thought so.

FAVORITE REVIEW FROM THE LAST CHAPTER GOES TO…EmmyCriesBlood. Dude, she loves me like a freakin pedo bear stalker that likes small children! If that's not love then I don't know what is.

~Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden: I would love to drown in peanut butter…the perfect way to die! And also, I probably would have eaten them. I have to fill my fattyness.

~PandoraNightRide: Dude, that's where I get the idea for the whole Twinkie thing! I was watching that movie like last night…while craving another Twinkie!

~Faxisthergreates123: Aren't all my chapters strange and screwy?

~Moi Productions Ea Rayos: I'm Slytherin! I found Griffindors colours to clash. Red and Gold? Really?

~Lleia Ride: We have the same last name on this site *stares at weirdly for 20 seconds.* Anyways! Welcome to the reading circle of Flock Madness! Hope you can stay for the rest of the ride!

Me: You know what I need to do. I need to stop stalking people.

Iggy: Like me?

Me: Oh, I can never stop stalking you…

Iggy: Don't make me drown you in peanut butter!

Me: Read above! I would love nothing less!

Iggy: She don't own…*goes to get peanut butter*

Me: Yea, that's right. Get the peanut butter. Your in my world now.

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Flock Madness

In Soviet Russia Twinkie Eats You

Fangypoo POV (Now that's classy)

"If there are no goddamn Twinkies here, then I swear to god I will kill myself!" I shouted to the sky like an angry lunatic. Iggy and Gazzy trialed behind me looking awkward.

"How would you kill yourself?" Iggy asked. I pondered it for a moment.

____

*Fangs Mental Pictures*

"Yes, they will never suspect this!" I whispered, carrying a blender.

"I will die at the hands of this blender, but the rest of them wont know." I was talking to myself in a weird hushed voice.

"I will leave them a note that says to enjoy this hamburger meat, but by the time its too late they will realize that they were eating my flesh!" I started to laugh maniacally.

"That will show them!" I laughed again. "It would really suck if they enjoyed it though…."

*End of Mental Picture*

"Oh you know. A random gun or knife maybe." I said nonchalantly.

Iggy nodded. And Gazzy said "Hey, where is Laures anyways?"

I pointed at my butt and Gazzy pouted. Now, I bet you guys have heard of the famous Laures. It is a grocery store, if that isn't obvious enough. I only ran into 2 Laures in my whole life, and they are located in Maryland. You must be asking, 'Why go all the way to Maryland just to find a Twinkie?' Well, I'm desperate here.

"Are we in Maryland yet?" Gazzy whined. I wanted them to suffer, so I decided that we were going to walk and not fly there.

"Yes Gazzy." I said warily. "We've been in Maryland for 4 hours and 35 minutes…." I felt like butt.

"Are we there yet?" Iggy moaned. I was contemplating whether or not to blend Iggy into a nice hamburger meat.

"Oh, look down yonder." I said in a monotone. Laures was waiting in the distance.

"Thank you JESUS!" Gazzy screamed.

Then out of no where giant robots fell from the sky and destroyed Laures. Gazzy gaped, Iggy smirked, and Fang was thinking what kind of BBQ sauce he should be served with.

"I'm going home…" I said warily. Gazzy was still gaping at the giant robots, who were now doing the Spanish hat dance on top of Laures, and Iggy was thinking how he could make one of those cool robots.

* * *

"Do you have a feeling that a giant robot destroyed a grocery store?" Angel said, massaging her temples with fingers. Max looked at Angel weirdly.

"Nah, but I do have a feeling that a bird-kid somewhere out there is planning to blend himself." Nudge said cheerfully.

"What the frick? !" Max exclaimed. Its not everyday someone wants to blend themselves.

"Target, targetttt, TARGET!" Nudge sang and hummed. She started to skip towards the entrance when Max stopped in her tracks.

"Guys, I don't know if we should go in there."

"Why?" Nudge whined, stomping her foot on the ground.

"Because there's a giant target on the store!" Max gestured to it with her hand. "Some terrorists might be targeting Target!"

"Maximum, we are going in there. Even if I have to hog tie you and drag you by your feet into the frackin' store!" Angel threatened in her cute girl voice.

"Do they even sell food here? !" Max screeched.

"Well, we'll find out." Nudge said, running into the store.

Target is like Wal-mart, but its for those who cant afford regular prices. In the corner of the store there was a little section just for food. Nudge was gracefully pushing people over…and stole a lollipop from a toddler.

"Asked the buzz what it wanted to eat  
The buzz said baby, Hostess treats  
Are bitchin' for munchies - yo dude there's no doubt  
But something 'bout snack cakes freaks me out:  
Turn your Twinkie upside-down!  
See the side that's flat and brown?  
Three white eyeballs stare you down!  
Too much like a stoplight…" Nudge started singing again.

Max was wondering where the hell she go this song from, and why Nudge sounded like Justin Bieber. Angel and Max heard Nudge scream a line of profanities. They ran after her and found her sitting on the ground in front of the Hostess shelf…and there was nothing.

"I think they knew we were coming and cleared the place out." Angel said sadly.

"We only found one box, and I heard Fang sound nothing." Max said. "How can they run out of Twinkies? !"

* * *

********

In a underground secure location

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!" An obese Ari laughed. "I love torturing the Flock!"

Surrounding him were hundreds of Hostess boxes. Ari was sitting on his throne that was trembling from his weight.

* * *

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Thanks for reading guys! This is going to be the second to last chapter for Flock Madness. So the next chapter shall be the end! THE BIF FINALE…or maybe just a dinky last chapter. I'll make another story that's funny…kinda like this…but with a different name. STAY IN TUNED!

Quotes During Chapter or Q.D.C:

"Awww! Poor fat kid! *watches Discovery Channel episode about a fat kid* Aww! He cant run!"

"Does Trix the Rabbit stalk those kids? Hmmm…"

"BAHAHA! I would so love to see a fat Ari…oh Ari."

SPEAKING OF ARI, I do have a funny story about him…look on my profile!


	40. Final Chapter

LAST CHAPTER! People, I will write another 'funny' fan fiction of Maximum Ride. It just felt right to end this story at a whopping 40 chapters! Whooo!

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**Yes the Twinkie series is over. I was only going to have it at 3 chapters.**

**LAST REVIEWS TOLD IN FOREVER FOR THIS STORY!**

**~Faxisthegreatest123- Yupp this is my last chapter! Well, I like blenders…I thought it fit well. :D**

**~Cadisha Ora Rhaksha Caden: Yupp Twinkie crap is over! Dude, I love Broccoli too! YOU CANT FAZE ME!**

**~She5289- Well, terrorists are pretty unpredictable. My friends say I'm a bomber with a late raction.**

**~PandoraNightRide: I know right. Ari that fatty. I'll tell you of my next story, if ya want. I don't want people to die twinkie-less….or cupcake-less…**

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**~mysterywriter2418- Dude, I bow down to the Twinkie!**

**Me: LAST CHAPTER!**

**Iggy: *sobs***

**Me: Why so sad?**

**Iggy: I'm going to miss you!**

**Me: Aw, don't be sad my Iggy! I shall write another story like this…maybe even funnier!**

**Iggy: Crap..**

**Me: That's right, I'll be back!**

**Iggy: You don't own me…or Natalie Tran!**

**Me: Dang….**

**************

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Flock Madness (I'm going to miss typing this)

Lessons Learned

No One POV

This chapter will be filled of little lessons that you should all remember. Except in this case each lesson will have a fun little twist. Don't get me wrong, some of these lessons are very important. Remember that.

**RAPE WHISTLE**

You see Max, walking down the street. (Singing do I diddy diddy dum diddy do!) Anyways, she was walking. No one was around. All of a sudden she was knocked on her side by an emo angel sort of person. Wait, scratch the angel part, but he certainly looked emo.

"GIVE ME YOUR PURSE!" The emo kid said. Max figured his name was Fang, since he was wearing a convenient name tag.

"Let go of my bag!" Max screeched, bringing out her rape whistle.

"Whoa! Is that a rape whistle?" Fang questioned, still fighting for the purse.

"Yeah, your attacking me. I'm gonna blow it." They stopped fighting for the bag and Fang looked at her.

"That's pretty presumptuous. I just want to take your bag." He gestured with his hands.

"Well, I uh." Max stuttered.

"See, if you blow the whistle it sends out the wrong signal. You know? I'm a level one criminal." He was still gesturing with his hands.

"Well, how are people going to know I'm being attacked?" Max questioned, looking annoyed.

"Hmm, I don't know." He thought about it for a second. "Scream help or something."

"Uh, ok. HELP, HELP!" Max yelled.

"No, no wait!" Fang put his hands over her mouth. "Shhh, that sounds bad too."

"Your trying to steal my bag." Max said warily.

"I just think we should reach a healthy compromise. You know?"

________

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________________________________________________________________

___________________

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**CROCS! (Nudge Talking To Audience)**

"Yes, I am a croc wearer." Nudge said to the camera crew. "And I am proud of it."

She pursed her lips and gestured to her pink crocs.

"I'm not ashamed to say that I wear them." Nudge said proudly. "Do I get teased? I get teased a little bit"

The camera showed her walking down the streets in her pimpin' crocs while people stared and laughed at her.

"But what's the teasing when it feels like you walking on air!" Nudge yelled. "Yea buddy!"

Someone pointed and laughed and Nudges face grew angry.

"I'M COMFORTABLE!" Nudge screamed at the person. "My feet are comfortable!"

Camera shows Nudge sitting on a ledge.

"Discrimination? Pshhh, buddy I can tell you a bit about discrimination." Camera shows everyone's else's stylish shoes, then shows Nudges crocs.

"Life has definitely changed for me." Nudge admitted. "I had around 3 good friends before, and now they don't want to be seen in public with me…and I'm a better person for it. I better person with comfortable feet!"

"CROCS ROCK!" Nudge screamed and ran away.

* * *

********

THE HAND (Iggy talking to audience)

"Sometimes I'm a little lazy."

Camera shows Iggy lying in bed, just out of arm reach of the ringing telephone. Iggy reaches towards the phone, but his arm is just a bit to stubby. He tries to reach again, then gives up and goes back to sleep.

"But yesterday Max got annoyed with me for using 'The Iron Hand Method." Iggy said. "It basically means your so lazy, that you substitute your hands for an iron."

*Flash back!*

Iggy is rubbing his hands against his wrinkled shirt, attempting to straighten it.

"You serious Iggy?" Max said, looking at Iggy in a strange way.

"These wrinkles!" Iggy said angrily. "Straight, straight!" With each word he rubbed his hand against his shirt harder.

"You think that's as good as an iron?" Max asked.

"It works!" Iggy exclaimed. "You just have to press it harder!"

"Yea, I don't care what you say. I just think your being lazy."

"Its not because I'm lazy!" Iggy screeched. "Its just another way, and it works. STRAIGHT!"

"Ok, what if I ironed it?" Max finally gave in.

Iggy looked up from rubbing his hands against his shirt. "Really? Cool."

*End Of Flashback!*

"I think it's because people really underestimate that many uses of the hand." Iggy gestured.

[Insert Inappropriate Joke]

"It's like people never heard of 'The Hand Cloth'."

Camera shows Iggy rubbing his hand over a spilled soda and wiping a dusty dresser with his hand.

"See, you don't have to find a cloth and your hand is already yours!"

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COPS! (Gazzy Talking To Audience)

"I don't know why, but every time I see police. I panic." Gazzy explained.

Camera shows a cop walking towards Gazzy.

"A James Bond like theme always plays in my head." Gazzy walked by.

Inner Thought: Casual swagger Gazzy, casual swagger. Act unsuspicious. Don't let her find out. Find out what? I don't know, because I do nothing.

Cop takes off her glasses and looks straight at Gazzy. Gazzy tries to act casual as he walks by.

Inner Thought: Oh my jesus! She's looking! PANIC, PANIC!

The cop looks at Gazzy weirdly, but continues on and gets in their squad car.

Inner Thought: God, that was close. Otherwise she would have found out I have done nothing cool in my entire life.

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FREE CRAP! (Angel and Max are in a hotel room)

Angel barged through the door and started rummaging through the drawers. Max plopped her suitcase on the bed and looked weirdly at Angel.

"What are you doing?" Max asked, the question filling her face.

"Looking for the free shit!" Angel yelled.

She then ran into the bathroom and came across the free shampoo's.

She grabbed them. "Ooooh, mine now." She said. "Dude!" She called to Max from the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a shower now!"

"Oh, here wait." Max said. "The shampoo's here." She took out the shampoo and Angel looked at her from the doorway of the bathroom.

"Don't need it!" Angel said, wiggling the shampoo bottles in her hand. "Free shampoo."

Max gave a weird look. "But our shampoo is better…"

"Uh, no it's not." Angel said as if it was obvious.

"Why?" Max questioned.

"This is free!"

"Sooo?"

"Free shampoo is always better." Angel exclaimed. "Oh! Whoa!" Angel saw more free stuff. "Dude, check this out! Little tomato sauce bottles!" Angel yelled, waving the bottle in the air. "I'm gonna keep this."

Max shook her head. "Its just tomato sauce. There's plenty of it."

"This is free!" Angel yelled again.

"When are you gonna use them?" Max asked, watching Angel stuff the bottles in her backpack.

"I don't know! Why do you gotta be so negative for?" Angel yelled. "Look, smile!" Angel said, holding up free jam cans. "Little jams! Free jams!" Wiggling the jam bottle in the air.

"Angel, you hate the taste of jam." Max reminded her.

"Well, I like the taste of free jam!" Angel said stuffing the jams into her bag. "Oooh look water!" She lifted the water and looked at it. "Oh wait, you have to pay for this one. Fuck that."

"Dude, seriously. Don't take all their stuff." Max yelled at her.

"You gotta take it now man!" Angel yelled back, still stuffing free crap into her bag.

"You know your not some type of Jedi Ninja. They know that your taking it." Max said.

Angel ignored that last comment and continued to stuff things into her bag.

* * *

**I'M GOING TO MISS YOU! STAY IN TUNED FOR MY NEXT STORY THAT WILL BE LIKE THIS….but with a different title….and now I have more experience…so it might be better!**

Q.D.C

"AHHHH! IM SAD!…why? BECAUSE I LOVE THIS STORY!"

"Oh Disney Channel, you slay me."

*Watches dog lick himself* "What the heck, are you gonna butt scotch next? !" *Dog starts butt scotching* "Dude, I'm psychic"

I SHALL MESSAGE SOME OF YOU PEOPLE OF MY NEXT STORY IF YOU SO DESIRE!

And, I would like to thank all of you so, so much for making it entertaining to write this crap that you call entertainment. I'm tearing up *wipes eyes* LOVE YOU GUYS!


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